How to be safe and fashionable for Scottish sport

Commonwealth Games - Team Scotland Kitting Out - University of StirlingBananas hates sport,, and has previously advised you how to dress for the cinema (my blog) and how to avoid smelly rude and stupid sports fans (my blog) and survive a terrorist attack or friendly fire which may entail you losing a limb, hearing and other disability.

Sport* and Scotland do not really go together being home to the deep fried mars bar (my blog) so we rang a zoo in scotland and contacted some monkeys and got you some tips on how to to safe because we apes do that sort of thing for you humans,

Men apparently have to wear skirts, so somebody just did not get the memo that you have to a right thing that nazis do (my blog) to run a sporting body. Anyhow apparently you will not require a bunker** as apparently the skirt stops terrorism with nuclear weapons.  See even i learned something about traditional dress.

The apes in Scotland advised us that should should pack

  • forget suntan lotion with an nbc suit

    forget suntan lotion with an nbc suit

    The nbc suit (prevents rain damage as well as chemical war adverse issues) and  dont forget that gas mask sprty people are smelly





  • more protection from g4s

    more protection from g4s

    A helmet – keep your brain in one piece





  • earmuffear muffs [if you understand local scottish this will save your ears.



  • riotgeara bullet proof vest just case.





And that will make you a very fashionable person keeping you dry too.

Ask in comments for our special fashion service.

* Vegetables are hard to buy too ** g4s [with Scottish politician on its board] are doing the security so your taking a risk

The bees, Laline Paull

beeisbn: 9780007557721 is a thought provoking book with questions like do bees have religion ? or other human like concepts of social control.

The book has a bit of my fair lady ((my blog) angle to explore this world with human concepts.  I could imagine this as a snobby British film with the redgraves* in

3/5 bananas.

* a family of ‘actors’.  No other actors actually exist

The mattress and tale of standards



I watch a Canadian tv series about a liquidator and that deals a lot with the humble mattress**. The value of an item is at best subjective a bit like Tracey Emin’s art.

Standards which can make and break an item. Assuming things never change is  wrong.

liquidatorThe mattress is a bit of a bed that we think does not really change.  The alpha has been on about replacing some which i easily deflected but on the third mention so i decided to get technical with sizes.

I locate a tape measure and measure the item i find that the item in question is 3cm (if your retarded that is a inch) less the same model it replaces and means a +10 cm difference to the next depth*.     The Canadian trader also had the same issue but with other attributes.

By reducing the cubic by 3cm per unit soon sizes up savings in shipping and material 24 cubic cm per unit if my calculation is correct. saving weight and space.

It is interesting to see how things change.

* new sheets required ** some quality and size issues

how did you that, an ‘expert’ asks

Omg ponies

Omg ponies

So word has got round that professor can watch tv* from the internet on his tv.  it took me some new hardware (my blog) to do easily rather than fiddle with two routers (my blog) due to limitations of the device and not our network.

The ‘expert’ who asked professor seemed to have no willingness to explore, or have imagination. Oh well.

*a crt, not one of those current tv’s which are built in with streaming functions /wifi

The leaky ship and what it said about Afghanistan.

invincibleBananas likes engineering and ‘fun’ is watching stuff about boats (my blog) and engineering projects.  Anyhow a little late to the party along comes the Royal Navy and filmed some years ago when iceland* had that erupting vulcano.

That brings me to the Ark Royal an ageing aircraft carrier which has been since been decommissioned and a newer ship constructed that leaves the older ship look horridly antiquated.   I could rant about the labour party  pork barrel and politics but see no point yet.

Anyhow so back in 2010 this ship gets a tv crew and they do the fly on the wall thing.  The ship springs a leak, and then Eyjafjallajökull does its thing and new orders mean its not doing what it was supposed to be doing.  Those are cancelled and then the a bigger leak is discovered requiring dry dock time.

The aircraft bit is the most interesting as many of the pilots had not done landings in helicopters or jets as they have been elsewhere and if lucky actually had a helicopter to fly (my blog).

* not the shop [quite funny]


scruples of the civil service and the old boys club.

Harriet Harman

Harriet Harman

If Alan Turing (my blog) had been a civil servant instead of an inventor I wonder if he might be still alive and be disgraced** rather than be known for a then distanced academic article that since become famous after all mixing engineering and maths is likely to get somebody pissed off for being not in the right department for ‘purity’.

gay oxbridge spies perfect government employees!

gay oxbridge spies perfect government employees!

When no means yes, and rules mean the opposite no wonder being a civil servant seems an ideal career for those who can get away with it.  It is perhaps no wonder with homosexuality* rife in in the old boys club that letting normal people have it was deemed bad until recently.

I suppose a good translation is ‘do not do what i say even though i am in charge’. They are doing it anyhow.

It is strange value set as well – inventor is worthless, but leader is beyond reproach even for things that are deemed repugnant (my blog) today.  Taken further if Turing’s contributions did not matter, how is ‘innovation’ supposed to happen – intellectual property (my blog) is another area where many civil servants and politicians buy into rather than err on ‘fair’ use.

Have a think about it.

* you might trace this back to queen victoria. ** not that i consider sexual orientation as wrong/right.