imdb: tt0499549 (and not last airbender version) has been seen in 2d. I saw the ‘original’ version so i have not seen the sex scene. Nor do i care that i have not seen smurfs having sex, Im sure if Cameron ever wants to do a rerun of ‘han shot first’ he has thirty years or so still to do a George Lucas here, or the really really yes that definitive version of blade runner*.
So with several films using the same name out close together must also have pissed somebody off. I find the right film, and sit down. Being the original version of how bad things our is more verbal than visual, and then its off to smurf land, and once there is looks very much like the technology of now.
Our hero is there only because he matches (cue ‘genotype’ buzz word) of his dead brother, and after reading a manual he becomes a athletic large smurf despite being wheelchair bound in three seconds. Then with no smurfing language its off with Ripley to the jungle to wrestle what you and i would call a dinosaur. Palour tricks ensue and our hero (henceforth Tarzan) gets lost and faces to smurf world alone. He meets a girl (Jane as you do) who nearly shoots him – love at first sight.
That’s the clue for getting to know papa smurf, and the chance to be a alpha smurf. Tarzan is also a bit thick , and its up to the humans to wreck the party. Cue battle scenes and carnage which Tarzan reigns supreme. Thank you Tarzan.
The film is more technical orientated*** than plot driven, and I would argue that too many of the smurfs dont really have much of a depth. Its up to a few actors in human mode [Weaver/the Helicopter person] to save the story from the party pieces of smurfdom.
Our modern day Tarzan and Jane story has moments of good acting from the stars but i think most of there work is reduced by too much special effects and hollering which i think is overcompensating for not seeing**.
Its and interesting look at remaking Tarzan in the year 2000, somehow David Attenborough and friends seems to have made the earths biosphere boring.
1/5 bananas – go muse on that.
* coming soon on pinkray (a long standing blog joke) ** an infilm production and dialogue joke i think. *** The longer versions just about fit on a non digital film projector if you read up.