JJ Abrams is toxic to star trek, but safe for the copyright lobby.

Star Trek is notable for screwing up ac neilsen ratings**, then being screwed by the tv industry who cannot see what the point of it is, and some sub par acting in the latter series.  If its on i’d watch [original] kirk, picard (both my blog), and brooks in ds9 do there thing.

Having been around the block and moved from tv to cinema this time with Abrams at the helm for a second go i pondered where the originality went.Its another remake and with his other trek film being the dreaded starflreet academy* i have to wonder does he have free will.

Fortunately i did not have to endure it in 3d (totally unnecessary) but it is another minus mark against the great and powerful Abrams who appears spineless.

A universe is a large thing, so surely there’s no lack of orginaltity to be found, well the spineless fool at the helm sets the thing on earth.  See space ships are boring.  Then he is back to rehashing the 5 year mission.

I will grant one compliment and that is the set design does not does not look too bad, but then again if somebody from 2067 saw st:tng they too might consider it dated.  That’s a compliment with a criticism.

The less i mention the lens flare the better, and while the existing tv trek has merit cant anybody risk them doing anything new ? No seems to be the reply.

* read any biography of a trek actor (my blog). ** doctors and engineers apparently dont watch tv and so should be ignored by marketing people as they do math or something *** that cinemas are finally offering both 2d as well but at a cost of horrid scheduling

Laughing at Zack Snyder

Bananas had an it problem* last year which meant ‘babysitting’ late one evening, and since i was waiting meant i found a film on free tv worth a view for just the criticism (my blog) it being an Alan Moore interpretation so full of fail and nobody who knows anything about Mr Moore and film means the film is guaranteed to be a dud, so the director with the silly name then made a faithful version but still he did not grep the hate that he and his kind get when interpreting things wrongly.

Watchmen, which it appears be more than one version of this film film/dvd/extended/etc.  Being i own the graphic novel as a paper book i still prefer the paper version.  Poor Mr Snyder who clearly does not have any guts making an original film.

Then there was his attempt at a computer game called sucker punch which most people ignored as the studio decided was a children’s film, rather than an adult film.

0/5 bananas for the film about the graphic novel.

Having no wish to see that other film either perhaps it is best that the more bad films in whole week blocks fill your local multiplex by Hollywood means people seek better stuff.

Fortunately i resolved my issue and made my way back to the monkey house rather glad that i did not pay to see Zacky babe just not get the point of anything.  A result..

* it is really up to the minute here.

Phillip K Dick surviving the test of time

I like P K D (my blog) you might know him for films some mainstream [being remade too] and others of lesser fame,

Thirty years have past since his death.  I have a shelf of his books and short story collections and i continue to reread them when my new stuff runs dry,

You might not agree with that assessment, but how many books do you read again and again.  Not all of his work is perfect and short stories do develop into books but in a age where the future with spaceships has not happened pkd’s subversive take on life and say philosophy [story not by its cover] books means while it might be unique and while its no predictor of now back then a rather fun way to bend perceptions is accomplished.

We all know of him in some way, so i think he passes.

Oh dear – what did disney do to Daft Punk

Tron Legacy should have been a sure fire hit, except it was 20+ years too late from the original Tron film.  Not really my problem but Disneys whom have not really done animation and gave Pixar the hip thing, Wall-e was good working on so many levels which i saw on tv.

So Tron Legacy had Daft Punk (my blog), a huge hype engine, a 3d disablement (my blog) and no Oscar recommendations/nods.  In fact I have yet to see Tron Legacy (my blog) on account most critics (and gawker media who pimped it) did not like it.

However a new zoo employee had the soundtrack – and i finding Daft Punk pleasant asked to borrow the mp3 player thing.  That was a mistake since its a classical score and not really Daft Punk at all.  Sure there’s influences of Daft Punk in there but its very toned down but its more classical music.

The only hit song ‘Derezzed’ is the only concession to modernity in sound.  So late to the party, and not really hip its a shame that Disney dont get the hip vibe with an exciting concept that is Tron.

I note that DP is being very selectively also on a car program the bbc make.  Hardly groundbreaking or futuristic.

Oh well

3d wrecking the cinema?

This is interesting expose into cinemas. Fortunately Sony get the blame as well so all is well in the universe.  I have not been to a cinema since the Kings Speach, ok there was a French film i nearly saw but forgot about.

Clearly all is not well but perhaps the fun lays in who will be blamed for wrecking 3d when the blockbusters stop bringing in the masses whom pay extra when the sequels hit and the 2d film also suffers from the pitch black issue.

Should be fun.

 

Itv,chavs,harry potter,missing kids,3d, and Karen Matthews.

Karen Matthews a victim of Harry potters success

The zoo was discussing the past national movie awards which i only read about (for the rest of you was apparently on the chav channel itv where chavs apparently ring expensive phone numbers for voting films out and yet to be seen which competes with the Canne film festival several months ago so its also a bit bargain basement with film people.

The interesting thing I read was that a non 3d* film won the awards for best seen film.  That raises a lot of questions, or at least should do since 3d is the thing apparently films ‘need’.

It also suggests that book reading among the itv viewing public is pretty bad. Mr Chalk (my blog) would seem to be on the money about shiny disks and tv’s over books in some peoples way of living. Of things Potter – the issue of the McCann‘s is still not ‘solved’- however Karen Matthews thought it was worth a money making venture.

Whatever your view (if you have one) of Harry Potter is that it has many meanings and it has made churchy types look idiots for being anti, and the pro.  Becoming associated with a hopeless cause can detract from the image of success and also that 3d isn’t also the thing films need for mass popularity are perhaps ignored.

Rowling (as an author) on the whole probably has been a good thing despite some rather silly statements and failing to magic up missing kids, but the magic does funny things to egos, her attempt to self publish and bypass the publishing industry will be interesting to watch as a result.  Ego is a dangerous thing and can make the writer unreadable.

* eg usually converted, thus not really a 3d film

Citroen 1 Michael Bay 0

mechanic Your citroen It needs new ice skates and dance shoes, owner f**k off

Citroen make ‘cars’ one could argue that there over engineered and unmaintainable.  Anyhow even Citroen’s need advertising to compensate for the over and un, and i think they had the first car that ice skated for fun.  Thusly other variants of the ‘fun’ car doing things then followed.

It was a Sunday evening, and i was five minutes early for Family Guy at the zoo’s security office where i watch tv with the zoo security team and apparently Mr Bay was doing the blockbuster version of the Citroen based on a toy.  It looked dire, and green screenish.  Hollywood isnt a arthouse project, and things in films have become toys but a film of a toy line becoming a film means seems a little freaky.

Fortunately with Michael Bay at the helm meant all was well with the world, i was reminded that european manufacturers did it first, and without wooden actors with woodworm.  Taste.

Apparently its cool to laugh at anything made by Michael Bay and although the toy as a film might be more of a japanese/disney kiddy thing I do wonder what happens when the toy cupboard is cleared.  Hopefully no more Michael Bay films after all that’s what he is ‘best’ at .

Anyhow Family Guy was good.

Thank you mpaa and mgm

why why why

So i rent a dvd from my local library, its an old film Equus, that is was a play that in 1977 they filmed, it used to be on television until some scum-bag animal rights loon banned it.

So with silver disk i carefully insert into dvd player, i get sound and menu for the film in Catalan etc – i press ok and grind grind grind…. i get bored and also need to pee, so a few minutes pass and still no Richard Burton when i get back.

So i troubleshoot – same stuff happens each time.  Looks like its time to watch it on a computer. So fuck you mpaa if you crap wont play in standard dvd player.

Luviedom loves success, but would rather not pay for it.

Im not dead yet but i can whine

The Kings Speech (my blog) is a notable film, those to the left who complain that the film about Ford’s Daganham plant got censored too for rude words being rude might have a point that royal naughties are ok, working class are not.  The americans being a censored lot will just get a b***p sound, praise be to jesus*.

The problem with the Kings Speech is its success, for every known artistic person has been in england is now saying they did it and made it. Notice how success turns has beens into slaves since none of them rich arty types could be bothered to put money into the film as a going concern.  Yes the Lottery funded it instead.

So next time you hear someone a has been who might have filmed Lawrence of Arabia** in the dim and distant past saying ‘if only’ do please remember that for all of that none of these professionals thought the film would be worth investing in, but  take away some taxpayer funded committee which did didly squat then the angry luvies come out of the woodwork.

Discuss.

* humour – nobody says naughty words do they. ** filmed in 1962

Hey Bananas where are the new Hollywood reviews gone ?

Asked Professor the other day while visiting the monkey house.  He likes ours apparently when we do them. I replied:

This blog wont be reviewing Hollywood made films for a while on account of british bashing by some american politicians.  No I still have not seen ‘Dances with smurfs’.

Not all americans are scared of travelling and some do have talent but its going to be a while before i review any new (or even older) american films.  The problem with blogging about popular american music are well documented else where and i dont want the riaa and other evil scum claiming dmca issues even when rights where given.

He distributed a few bananas and said to us

Well I have not seen anything worth  seeing either.

Too true we all oooked.