Pythias Brown – TSA/DHS crook of Newark

In this we meet a George W Bush baggage inspector and dildo stealer. Mr Brown (reunion.com) loves your electrical gadgets you pack in you baggage including a

$47,900 camera stored inside a bag.

Pythias who worked at Newark airport looking for your computers and cameras to steal since he found no valuable Iraqi wmd*. If a professional camera looks like wmd then why not sell it on ebay, after all its the republican way**.

The thing is this, the DHS/TSA could not be bothered to investigate and a concerned business had to make a complaint to a local police force.  if that is not corruption then what is ?

Im quite sure Mr Brown will be voting McCain/Palin after all its good for stealling.

* Im sure would have ebayed that too ** well think about it

Plane hijackers required [for good]

Bananas in Falklands has had her moments with the the civil aircraft idiots, after all would you name an airport after an alcoholic ? or a plane. Yep comrades they did (my blog).

hijackers please help eliminate crap singers - Osma Bin Ladin is in her bra**.

Airports and airlines have had there problems since 2001, the security staff in England’s airports is full of foreign criminals running things. Feel safe? that’s not the point. Best not to mention america’s tsa after all bras i now read are terrorists in disguise. It’s strange that Bin Ladin could become a woman’s bra but then those Saudis are very sneaky [i'm not joking by the way **].

So how can the ‘evil’ plane hijacker do the world a favour ? How do we redeem the freedom fighter back into somebody like Mr George Washington who didn’t have many moral scruples with murdering english people during the american war of independence?

Easy – in England on chav and asbo tv (itv) i read that a new reality tv series is to put ‘celebrities’ onto to aircraft. However you define the celebrity and how they got it* here is the perfect opportunity to make both the news and get rid of some really crap ’singers’ / useless people and help scare the living shit into these unless class of people.

Theres a problem that we all go down with the sinking ship, but if its the last time retarded Lisa (seen in the picture) or that dumb big brother contestant get to breathe then the tv landscape will need to have more ‘MAKE ME A CEELBRITY’ tv shows and it can also dine out on the best bits of the dead celebrities at christmas time.

The added benefit of killing Lisa is that you get to be know as the terrorists who killed Bin Ladins bra. So on culture front you get sophisticated points, G W Bush can say bin ladin is dead, and the world is a happier place.

To discuss this once in a lifetime opportunity visit us in the zoo and help improve the cultural life of England. We need you.

disclaimer: I have no idea who Lisa is but the world must be a better place with her ilk in it. and begin groped by a saudi arabian man is another good reason to put her out of her misery. You yes its ethical too.

* reality tv anybody ** tsa Oakland logic

fraud writ large.

In this pfi gets a bad name (bbc).  After many years of state misrunning and then unwillingness to invest in a public transport system falling to bits a public / private funding bill was announced.  A private firm was given a long term contract to fix what had not been maintained with all the money up front.

Result – its now back in the hands of the public sector. Oh Gordon Brown should get the credit for this one.

‘Helmand’ an exhibition at the National Army museum.

Is this Link and is the what,where and how of the matter on british troops experience in Afghanistan, its located in London England in Chelsea near the Chelsea Barracks with the famous army pensioners (wiki).

Its a hard place (by London standards) to get to. It is near Victoria coach station, nor is it well sign posted but the Helmand exhibit is worth a go which i finally managed to do recently.

So after catching a number 11 bus from Nelsons column (stop k) near the charing cross station then past Mr Lone legal voice of protest in england (my blog and balance) to ‘lower sloane square’  and then you wander.

Theres an oldish building (compared to the others) which is a government property and has a huge garden when you hit that road keep walking past the cricket and tennis courts on the other side and you eventually get to a gun outside and yep thats the National Army Museum.

Nearest tube is Sloane Square but don’t look for it on the ‘things to look out for map’ there either

Now that we ‘made it’ – The exhibit deals with the reality of Afghanistan and does not use politics words, or management speak, it is Afghanistan today spoken by the soldiers serving there a message perhaps from the army to people ?.

A little bit  of .mil jargon loaded at times is a criticism i have but the audio,pictures, and video sets the serving troops story out with a few props. The actual troops discuss death,injuries, and the fun you can have with an bow and arrow in a shit hole.

Now those of you thinking about the location, what of the the rapid response army that the politicians apparently want Britain to have (as part of Nato)

Since England does not have deserts so the reality of the ‘rapid army’ is a misnomer today.

The comment one takes away with is that with nothing to hand you have to produce everything, the lack of transport suitable (eg the politicians wont pay up) makes this deployment of interest to many others.

Recently much has been said about the lack of societies acceptance of returning soldiers from places like this for there are many of us who dont know whats the point of it and with the American influenced nature of the conflict (Reagan [repubican] funded bin-ladin) and guess whos fixing the war America ‘won’.

Most of us know that a soldier does what they are told to do. The  removal of the Iron curtain and the unwillingness of politicians to invest (equipment) in future wars and the armies ability to fight them means we associate weasel words with the act of Afganistan, not the actions of persons like you and me*.

Thats a shame, but humans like conflict.

Take a visit, listen and see in the words of people who words should be respected.

* not republicans – they don’t fight they do the texas national guard**
** think of a drunk who became president.

Don’t leave home without it

Bananas is planning a trip to see Chinta (my blog who is in Germany) The zoo suggested we use the eurotunnel link

Bananas then booked a crossing (a single rather than a return just in case) which apparently was not possible before because of monopoly practices between boat operators and eurotunnel. Having made the booking I was then asked if we where going to take any pets which included

1. dogs
2. cats
3. guide dogs
4. ferrets

Quite why you would take a ferret to France seems strange. Bananas knows humans are fond of cats (who will rule the world) and dogs but a ferret I ask you looks like a furry rat here.

Anyhow thats humans* for you.

* Captain Pugwash (a pirate by trade) does not like Ferrets ?

missing the point

Bananas looked at pay as you drive car insurance, it was from a firm Bananas does not like but strikes me as an interesting concept alas it is flawed as you have to own the car that you don’t drive, which rather strikes me as pointless.

There are a number of limitations to this scheme so precisely i didn’t get the point of the new concept, why if you don’t drive would you want to own a car, and if you say only need the car once a month why bother with owning a car ?

Moreover its phrasing of the questions might make an experienced driver seem in-experienced or scared at driving say at night, on a motorway, or early in the morning.

Its a start but its still a crap scheme – but thats India for you..

Some monkey business with trains

Bananas was using a train recently and we heard young humans making monkey noises.

Quite what the picture (right) says about Richard Bransons name franchising operation (bear with me please) I leave to your imagination.

Anyhow with both Minsky (bbc) and good old Sam,Abrek and Bion (wiki) – yes we beat you humans into space (article on the monkey pioneers). Bananas is happy to note that no monkey will willingly ‘crash test’ Virgins space tourism program, or Virgin Trains which we do not think they are up to the job – and quite frankly it gets very boring when three monkeys chatter about space rockets.

Jokes and Boasting aside the main point of this is to inform you about the goings on in Gerrards Cross which has something to do with a company called Tescos (a very big supermarket chain)

Underneath that arch (white car on top) theres a railway line.

Well something has finally happened (bbc) – there going to

1. remove it all
2. reinforce that arch,
3. and then refill
4. and the rebuild it

Quite what the cost of it will be who knows it it has bankrupted one builder, and the railway engineers will be running tests for the next twnety five years so with part of the grey toxic fill in being used at Stanstead airport (england) this has also created a small mountain in the Chilterns, and well for supermarket nobody in Gerrards Cross wants you wonder of the waste and damage new labour (and piece of shit John Prescott) have done.

To conclude I think John Prescott should test trains, not monkeys. Bananas is going to set up a petition on the Prime Ministers website very soon.

Slighty freaky assumption here*

In this (telegraph newpaper England) This also affects all english american football fans* who might have traveled to america for Sundays superbowl.

Britons flying to America could have their credit card and email accounts inspected by the United States authorities following a deal struck by Tony Blair.

By using a credit card to book a flight, passengers face having other transactions on the card inspected by the American authorities. Providing an email address to an airline could also lead to scrutiny of other messages sent or received on that account.

The extent of the demands were disclosed in “undertakings” given by the US Department of Homeland Security to then approved by the European Union and published by the Department for Transport after a Freedom of Information request.

The released document shows that the US has demanded access to far more data than previously realised.
Not only will such material be available when combating terrorism but the Americans have asserted the right to the same information when dealing with other serious crimes.

As the Americans tightened security after the September 11 attacks, they demanded that airlines provide comprehensive information about passengers before allowing them to land.

But this triggered a dispute that came to a head last year in a Catch 22 situation. On one hand they were told they must provide the information, on the other they were threatened with heavy fines by EU governments for breaching European data protection legislation.

In October, Brussels agreed to sweep away the “bureaucratic hurdles” preventing airlines handing over this material after European carriers were threatened with exclusion from the US. The newly-released document sets out the rules underpinning that deal.

As a result the Americans are entitled to 34 separate pieces of Passenger Name Record (PNR) data all of which must be provided by airlines from their computers.

Much of it is routine but some elements will prove more contentious, such as a passenger’s email address, whether they have a previous history of not turning up for flights and any religious dietary requirements.

While insisting that “additional information” would only be sought from lawful channels, the US made clear that it would use PNR data as a trigger for further inquiries.

Anyone seeking such material would normally have to apply for a court order or subpoena, although this would depend on what information was wanted. Doubts were raised last night about the effectiveness of the safeguards.

“There is no guarantee that a bank or internet provider would tell an individual that material about them was being subpoenaed,” an American lawyer said.

God Bless George W Bush. This is the best bit while I am a ’suspect’ by default, no americans can be as

Washington promised to “encourage” US airlines to make similar information available to EU governments — rather than compel them to do so.

I rest my case.

* just in case there a bit dim

ps: post much delayed due to airport security – have you seen my bag ?

The long bus ride.

Bananas car clutch linking died, I’ve no idea what it does but in pratical terms it meant that the car would not go forward and backwards with an engine running – it needed ‘professional’ help.

So eventually having disposed of the car to my garage, I’m told it’s then fixed, and a three hour journey to collect my car starts. Having checked bus times (two busses needed), i manage to get to a bus stop, it’s going to be an expensive trip so natually one stops at a cash machine first

I get on the bus and despite the short jorney to the destination its surprisingly expensive this bus travel business * and then theres a 35 minutes wait while i watch chavs and chavettes do christmas shopping in a shopping town – disturbing bit like this.

Then I get spoken to by an old lady whom seems much nicer than most of the humanity nearby and we discuss why are busses so big in what i can only describe as a bus-jam – if you think cars cause congestion think again, i’d go blame large busses with nobody on them.

Quite why we ‘need’ extra large busses is beyond me and the roads have stayed the same size. Thats another days posting. After all how many of the lords and masters do use busses ?

exactly.

So with the army of Chavs and Chavettes loaded onto bus i then get on it, another pound is spent as we wind arround a slow pace dispatching said Chavs and Chavettes off the huge bus.

Getting to my destination i notice that a 6ft rabbit is on the loose  (my blog) and quickly go to my garage and retrieve my car, which although i think appears expensive to run actually isnt.

Human watching tales.

Bananas saw a lady peering at her small mobile phone on the tube with a large magifying glass, It didnt look cool the moral being that while a small phone might be trendy the magifyer is not.

But the Polish kids where a hoot, never a dull moment on the tube people watching.