When the tv broadcasters don’t get it.

Recently the tv companies have figured out that people watch tv on the internet. Fancy that, had you noticed ?

The tv companies versions ‘catch up’ services vary and many have exceptions, need windows media codec, use drm, etc and generally are deemed a waste of space. But its ‘progress’.

Bananas missed the final of Bionic Woman last night, through a silly recording error (you know). So we tried the tv’s catch up internet service, but no Bionic Woman was there on the thing.

Thats a bit silly. So i wont be using that again. The point of it, i don’t get it, why bother?. Retarded seems the best way to describe it.

There is not a lot of tv i watch, the views of mine are well documented here from the crap soap, through to the mis-design of tv’s so it nice to see that clueless actions continue in tv exec land.

A policeman in every bedroom

arrest those custumes NOWIn this (bbc) leaves some interesting thoughts. Gordon Brown in his wisdom has decided to police sex. This leaves some interesting conclusions

the first is that laws for one person in this case a prude by the name of Mrs Longhurst are fine.

the second is that deranged policemen like Iian Blair (the one who shoots Brazilians) will be kept busy.

the third conclusion is, that if you inform the police that your neighbors might be doing ‘bad’ sex you will be paid for the the tip off and you can get rid of them.

Remember that laws also apply to lawmakers, I look forward to see Harriet Harman, and all mps arrested for the wrong sort of sex.

Ladies and gentlemen, and Max Mosey welcome to the world of the police state.

Talk Talk do it again.

Alas no the monkey house is not fans, or even subscribers to con merchant Charles Dunestone (my blog) ‘enterprises’*.  But the tribe met up with another monkey house and discovered that they too cannot provide broadband (adsl), or even a working telephone line.

With Charles Dunestone at the helm, quiet who needs a telephone or internet connection anyhow, because he can’t be buggered to provide you with one.

We all applaud Mr Dunestones attempts, and look forward to the day we his management techniques are applied to the whole UK’s telecom industry.  After all we can all shout cant we.

* misselling mobile phone contracts is the latest charge againt this ‘super’ businessman.

Saying goodbye to Wordperfect and its friends

We used to use Wordperfect – alas I cannot upgrade it, and the Linux version was so dire (no other versions of it ever came out) then Corel bought ‘Wordperfect office’.I demo’ed a windows version from Corel once and it kept crashing even on xp, Luckily for me open office can handle wordperfect now. I would not even want to steal from corel this software

But what of Worperfect,Quattro pro and the other programs which for the small price of £235 i could upgrade – alas no I cannot i have the wrong version of Microsoft windows. Wither my old friend – 235 sounds no bargain here

So did open source software kill Wordperfect no Novell/Corel fucked it up by taking forever to deliver a microsoft windows version after wordperfect 5.1 which allowed Excel,Word become ‘the’ office formats and the Linux version of Wordperfect sucked.Since not many now use wordperfect this once ‘industry standard’ is now very hard to find things that maintain its formating.

If Openoffice works in windoze, and linux too that is more ‘enterprise’ than anything our friends of Corel draw could every achieve. The sad thing is the Wordperfect Office X3 release was only known about by me (a loyal client) by seeing a new book announcement on Safari electronic books. Low profile – that’s more like ‘under the radar’

Wordperfect is word-processing software Much like microsoft word, and that it also has some friends for a presentation maker, and a spreadsheet which had the name of Quattro pro which you Office junkies know as Excel and as easy to use as that.

Well whats wrong with Microsoft Office, nothing much except the fact that Microsoft control it, the maker of Vista should not dictate that you need new Office software (excel et all) when you buy it.

Cost is another factor, but before you got bored to death by a monkey boring you to death about total cost of computer ownership either at home or in a zoo environment) The question arises is what to do in spreadsheet demanding of several hundred pounds? after all theres more to life than Bill Gates even richer.

OK so there are a number of other choices including openoffice, and others that unlike evil Microsoft also work on many other non windows computer systems.

So why did we not upgrade Wordperfect ?

Well it was not for the lack of trying to on Windows that latest version we tried (?11) kept crashing windows, a more expensive lession was learned with wordperfect for Linux which mega sucked and that was in 2000 and help to cure the tribe of retarded computer journalists writing reviews.

Consider that the old version of wordperfect supported both dos and unix last century so the software in 2007 sucked.

Converting Quattro pro was not that easy and if you use Word/Excel then the migration to Openoffice is mostly painless, Wordperect was not the problem, Quattro pro needed downgrading from version seven to version 6 before i could migrate spreadsheets to OO.

So here is what we don;t understand, how a once great piece of paid software (wordperfect) has been turned into garbage. ?

I like Open Office and works well for needs and means microsoft windows is no longer required (it does work on windows including vista) but we have a choice.The lessons here

  • buying software that sucks is bad
  • do you use all of word/excel – can you justify the upgrade cost ?
  • choice (not just what microsoft do is not choice) is important
  • reputations fail
  • don’t be too loyal

Recently Microsoft have been trying to standardize there word format via iso and other commitees whhich has meant bribing a few people because there version of the standard has rather a lot of holes in

It interesting to follow should you be interested.

The point is that if our spreadsheets where in .xls and our documents in .doc, it would have been much easier to move to open office.


How to read a lot

OK so how do i do it ? and stop you all whining

theres not enough time to read.


  1. dont watch tv because it is on, choose your tv, then turn it off when finished and do something else.
  2. read book reviews.
  3. reserve interesting from your library (en bulk)
  4. obtain
  5. if there are other books noted (and you interested in them) reserve them too.
  6. Books here are not read one after the the other, some book where read up to four months ago.
  7. cycle to step 1.

When the car giants get it wrong

Bananas does not discuss cars very often, often it is about something else. I am sure that the car, like the horse and cart before it will be around for a very long time in some form or other.

ugly as fuckIn the first image we see a Chrysler mini van, but essentially all the car makers (theres only four) and the designs look the same. Even its advertising sucks as they used fat cartoon like children (? stuffed full of chicken ?). What im saying is neither the design or the van with windows has much merit.

So what does that tell you ? – i do not not like vans, but what is telling is that the uninspired car designs means that television is rejecting the conglomerates designs for cars with a design. In Bionic Woman (the remake) a 1990 ish Saab is driven. Not a 2008 Saab but a car with a design that looks not like a cloned car.

Cars in tv and film present a problem, you either make your own, assume that the same concepts exist elsewhere, use a french design (as battlestar did).

Incidentally did you know that if you have taken pictures of a Ford branded motor car, Ford own the the copyright on it, so better throw those pictures or delete those digital stills right now befor some legal eagle from Ford sues you.

The Moral – the less choice in cars there is (there are only four big car producers owning most of the brands) the uglier the designs get, and don’t you even dare think about photographing a Ford.

Less competition means laziness, and a very bad deal for shareholders of car companies. At least we know why Mrs Bionic Woman does not drive a Ford.