Andriod phones above version 5

Bananas was dealing with an ape with mobile phone envy (my blog) and who found a better deal than there relative did even if the gratification was not instant.

As I do not suffer from mobile phone envy (my blog) I soon discovered that version 6 (cyanogen*) and 7 android versions appear bloody hard to buy or cost (not rent) over $500 us dollars for the phone with that version.  Version 5 appears to not have this problem

Being practical it appears the android upgrade path is closed to many through lack of choice. I wonder if this is a choice or a governmental order.

When the phone arrived  – i had to figure it out despite my hate of phones (beyond the ape with mobile phone envy) and being a cheap phone it appears to do most things and honestly for a £70 phone running the most easily available version of android and i think i could get used to it despite my cack handed setup – eg no google account since the install kept freezing at that point.

Complaints – It needs a better web browser – not google, and the paper instructions came in French so figuring out how even how to put the battery in back was a mystery even for the French and since i did not want to break it with too much brute force I had to find a pdf manual and see a video on how to insert the battery.

I had a fun hour and half swearing at the thing before handing it over – hopefully for i never see for year – alas my peace was interrupted so its off to the library and pick up a rare book for the ape with mobile envy.  Sigh

Would i buy one ? maybe but i prefer a real computer.

*bought by microsoft and shut down let the fud (my blog) begin

Zimbabwean isps in the wild

the boss of unemployment

Zimbabwe sends the zoo some odd attempted email traffic considering that 96% of its people are unemployed and the chinese rmb (my blog) is its currency last time i checked.

Those Chinese people are sure generous with money and the family who run it.

The more exotic the country (my blog) then the more fun these are to do attempts 56

/smtpd[*]: warning: hostname does not resolve to address No address associated with hostname attempts 4

smtpd[*]: warning: hostname does not resolve to address No address associated with hostname attempts 2

policyd-spf[*0]: None; identity=helo; client-ip=;;; receiver=ape@zoo
smtpd[*]: NOQUEUE: reject: RCPT from unknown[]: 554 5.7.1 Service unavailable; Client host [] blocked using;;

The last one is kind of interesting but it has deemed spammy and quite why an Italian domain is sending mail from there confirms it.

Surely they cannot all be unemployed spammers, or perhaps the best ones emigrate to Nigeria ?

The .zw tld does not help being one of the last so they kind of deserve the attention being my geoip script lists it last and so sticks out like a sore thumb..Anyhow it is amusing that its leader who hates the english (not americans) allows his citizens to try and email the zoo i mean that being a really shit despot mind you there’s the 4% he still has to make jobless.

Try harder Grace Mugabe.

Leaky american security sources

clapper knows

I note that once again the security services in the us (america) are once again sharing stuff that they did not discover. but there ‘friends’ did.  I was party to this when Robert Soloway who was something of a retard helped set precedent the can-spam law some billions of internet years ago.. I wont bother you with the details and i was happy overall i guess some law enforcement person got a benefit from leaking the information although the mainstream media copy and pasted rather than reported..

Whether the information was intercepted or shared directly by the manchester police is an interesting question to ponder.

However since it was a ‘religion of peace’ (my blog) activity, the mental health issue that our lords and masters try and use to say it was not islam is the greatest at killing children is now a moot point. I bet there is a huge celebration in Saudi Arabia that they helped kill twenty plus unbelievers

Overall it appears to have /dev/nulled the election and there are no scheduled childrens parties (my blog) happening.

It also adds questions to both mainstream parties look weak as questions they dont want to answer and have a past with come once again to light.

This was a useful leak as it put certain multicultural failings as fact rather than spin a lie.


Border,Kapka Kassabova

isbn: 9781785782147 is a collection of short stories paid for by the uk government for some reason..

Some work, others do not.and it is sometimes hard to discern who is saying what to the writer when a translator is involved in the turkish bit.

1/5 bananas.

Comrade May’s eggs and flour shortage

street urchins with terror tools

I note that on a secret* election trip Theresa May (my blog) who is averse to questions and will always reply with two words starting with s caused an eggs and flour shortage somewhere secret which is kind of creepy being she is the capitalist and you expect queues for food in soviet russia (historic) or north korea today provided it is not food aid provided by its enemies..

These eggs and flour items where deemed terrorist bomb making equipment while citizen may was in town secretly and possibly performing as a childrens party entertainer.   Quite what this says about capitalism is left to you the reader to imagine

It becomes rather amusing when politicians failings make news rather than the message with the same two s words in.

I hope nobody starved.

citizen may the children’s entertainer

I offer a free banana skin as a prize which you can collect from the zoo if you wish to comment with the magic words starting with s.  Something Comrade May likes too! assuming she is vegan.

However as banana skins can have a comedic value i am sure a law will be passed by her party banning bananas in the future as is what politicians do .

seems appropriate from chitty chitty bang bang

So if you ever have to entertain Thresa May you know eggs and flour are off the menu. Quite how this clergyman’s daughter** is so intolerant to eggs and flour is an exercise left to you the reader.

*also know as children’s party events ** clergymen see the worst of society a lesson learned by there family members as well.

Rubicon, Tom Holland

sullaisbn: 0316861308 is an older book and tells of the fall of the Roman empire, before I bore you further g r r martin (my blog) stole from this book who is famous for television fantasy.

Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein (my blog) also is another modern interpretation of Rome. If Sulla and Marius don’t interest you.

In a perhaps a parallel of today (my blog) the events that saw the beginning of the end are hilighted and while a little heavy going in parts you might see some from the past in todays landscape.

4/5 bananas


The french car form adventure

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

Bananas was asked by professor to get a air quality certificate (this is not a boring post) for his car when he goes on safari to France.

He only knew of it via the fud of a newspaper (my blog) that he does not read and the extended family read. His attempts to figure out this shit are laughable as four weeks have past since then and i go see professor and eventually get roped into this exercise in french form filling that costs euros too.

So much for the european free market and this is before brexit (my blog).  Whether or not the french use the lack of such a thing as an excercise to make money from foreigners* either via fines for not having one or tax for having a label i suppose is a moot point now.  But there well known for it and the rest of the eu is also fair game to Jorge the bureaucratic frenchman.

Its a fairly pain free process if your aware of french civil servants ideals via a website name, make, vin number provided that is you have the right registration documents at the right address.

More ‘complex’ things needed include the emissions standard of which a google search got me a value that the form liked and was on the form. However professor tells me that the value stated is not on on the label supplied but incremented by one.  You views on the right value seems to be a judgement call between ignoring what is on the form is right or wrong – i guess one set of bureaucrats would be most upset by that. .

Then they want a jpeg of the registration document that is a very small attachment size. First attempts scanned the document (four pages) in where 8 mb – the target was 400kb

not that sort of gimp, perhaps a zoo attracttion ?

So they only got part of the document, after a lot of faffing about with that scanner and the gimp* (my blog) the french government expects you to own and able to use, oh and scp to copy the file to professors workstation.

In the end on my first attempt i get a car that can be registered that the computer in France seems to accept and professor does the rest.

While his ownership document and the french might be mildly compatible per eu regulations it seems that this is not liked by the tax collecting authorities and so a special process only to them is ‘required’.

I think that breaks the eu ‘spirit’ but that’s just me thinking about the issue.  If this was some rant about paid roads (not government) then this would be crazy talk but its a process that tells government something that they already know if even i do not know what that information is and as one computer can ask another.

It seems there are French bureaucrats who are sceptic of the eu dont tell them but i am on to them..

Something to think about. *open source graphics manipulatiom – enjoy the joke * includes road haulers hgv’s etc

something about two black lesbians called polly and bill on television.

I am not quite sure why the bbc diversity departmant made me think that dr who is a programme about black lesbians but if your one and work for bbc diversity please celebrate and put on that strap on and do it on dr who please.

I guess bill wears it from the name

It would be a lot more entertaining than dr who.

More tea vicar ?

If you think Polly is wearing the strap on instead leave comments justifying your thoughts, i am quite prepared to change my view of who wears it.