The newspaper industry ‘app’ mystery

Yeah its the tempest

The monkey houses newspaper (my blog) also has an online version of which you need a login to and we don’t have them, as i block some things and if you do visit the site it complains about it.  Nobody in the zoo visits the site for the nagging delay and the weird commentators who want world war three or something less doomsday like say who’s multimillionaires daughter has a diet cookery book out and why an eel in your stomach will work wonders which could be a world war three in your stomach i guess if that is not overthinking things..

Anyhow i was not bothered but I had an interest to see if subscribers also got served ads – i guess ‘yes’ if you ask me what i suspect with the extra data the bush telegraph also knows to create a super cookie for nefarious advert use – say buy a hardback book about word war three dieting? – loose weight with Polonium*  But the newspaper who apparently gave us web access never told the alpha ape here in the monkey house how to login.  Not that anyone the monkey house was bothered by this omission.

Then all of a sudden he tells me they reduced the price of the subscription and cancelled the web access for non use. Oh news to all.

The monkey house is not bothered by this but it is something i will not now know.  Ignorance is bliss..I did once try and get a more up to date ‘free’** computer for a beta they where giving away [not me] but neither seemed wiling to do anything about it

The moral to this story if you do not tell customers of a thing they won’t use it.not that my exploration would result in happy customers here paying extra for web access..

Cookies !

*works.** note the exclamation marks

Our friends in the north

the northern beach

the northern beach

I was reading the other newspaper (which i don’t particularity respect) and things i had missed when a bbc (who the newspaper does not like either) radio drama called borderland was suggested as worth a hear. .

So one day i set my ears to receive left wing centrist bbc bias

Set in post brexit Britannia the immigrants – be they legal or illegal are leaving and while the playwright keeps it fresh with a dose of sports direct working conditions and the calais chaos (you tube) its grasp of devolution politics and peoples north of Watford , and wet ones in the west leaves much to be desired.

It is conveniently forgotten that labour brought in devolution of wales and scotland and neither are now strong labour voting areas.  As to northern Ireland well that’s been reunited with the south in this drama.

If you had not guessed it the scots and the welsh are also racists in this drama but since they did not vote red that must be true after all playwrights never lie,

Eventually our victim (female) gets to Ireland and lives happily ever after and this is where i get confused

spot the police

spot the police not the farmers

For four hundred the years protestants and catholics have had a deep mistrust of each other and as the bbc has reported in northern ireland that if you mix say muslim into that mix (bbc news) then i see a new threat to both not that i believe in the sky fairies

While it might be ‘drama’ why is it not wrong to paint locals as evil for pointing out the problems with an ever increasing population and less money spent on say libraries and health.

If the bbc wishes to paint all of ts white viewers as racist then good for it but by doing so they miss there point.  Not all of us live in Islington, and why does not immigration not mater to non women friendy ireland ?  (my blog)

If walking with a orange band is cause for the riot police to be out most nights  and segration of catholics from protestants is still common somehow to call the irish non problematic seems odd.

Anyhow what do i know. perhaps i should find a zoo in Islington

cancer charities and failure

olivecookeCancer is a rich persons disease.  it is also a nice jolly for rich people (my blog) and politicians to administer charities who get money for something but do not solve cancer since that would make them out of a ‘job’.

On the radio is a cancer victim, who is explaining the limitations of cancer ‘solution providers such as the charities who it appears dont do a great deal and a victim with cancer still pays for treatment.  I suppose that’s patents and stuff none of this being open source.

I could go on and link science journals to this malaise but i am sure your well aware of open access to research you fund.

Anyhow – It’s got to a point where even Microsoft think they can fix cancer*.  So much for charities.

pinkcakeWhen i see cancer charities i see a nice job for a spouse of a politician or star, or a person who trademarked pink for the $ but not a cure.

While it can be a good cause i do wonder if the means to the end is a money making first for as long as they can via fees and income from patents.   It is kind of bonkers crazy when no cure is better for some – think on it.

*Microsoft cancer – has a level of truth even now.

A smoothie recipe for newbies (nice not foul)

shakeYou might have been given a smoothie maker* today so before you hide it in a cupboard never to be seen again (not here) may i suggest you make a banana smoothie (my blog).

In fact you can even use a food mixer for this so you could return your unused new thing, so before you discover the vile combinations of ‘healthy’ vegetables try.

  • one banana
  • small spoon of cocoa powder (non sweetened) – not chocolate but that will do.
  • milk of some description

Older bananas are better than new from the shop as the texture of new bananas can be gassy and a bit like paint in texture.  Quality matters here and shit fruit/ingredients is not going to make you like something as the maker cannot do miracles with rubbish.

An example – Strawberry smoothies need sugar if they are wet and tasteless but it is the wrong time of year for those of you in the north.

Then you can put it away and move on to the next food fad, slow cookers are apparently hot.

*sounds like a teenage sex fad

my cloned mother (well i never knew that)


casual friday

If i can refer you to this (my blog) then i can happily inform you that my mother apparently has a clone according to human financial experts who some other monkeys are dealing with.

Its not my side of the tribe but it was humorous to discover that my mother has a copy somewhere wondering about.  The strange thing is i never noticed the clone until now/ Perhaps you too have a clone mother?

Families sigh mind you it was quite funny before the serous side set in.

oh dear – AC Nielsen now also will fuck up publishing

moranThe book is something i read a lot of via a library (my blog), however e-books mean i would have to own three e-readers and shop at the only shop per device, so that is no sale on ebooks (precisely rental) here although i do have pdfs with the zoos address in. as to whether i own them or not is a matter of legal opinion.

On ereaders which i note are now untrendy is that I also cannot get adobe drm on linux – so that makes some ebooks even from a libfrary useless.  Oh Remember when adobe quit that software business then your ebooks wont work any more

Publishers complain about a lot of things amazon, e-reading, there pet cats vet bills, but when i can read about books and i am told there not available in my region – specifically this happened with wool* (my blog) so unless i buy three e-readers then i am not going to read it unless some lazy publisher thinks people might read it.

Then some crazy idiot in publishing has the balls to complain that people are not buying books, or renting them for a fee.

tosremasterThat is when Nielsen who now track book sales will really screw stuff up – after all they killed star trek on tv so why not books as well.  The Publishing industry should take note that obtaining books is hard work with there business model apparently even though i cant buy it as its not available but at least nobody has heard of captain kirk either.

That is before i mention these sidelined authors (my blog), then maybe that problem is one of there making by asking Nielson to find out what is hot and not the readers.

* not from a sheep

Happy Harold Camping Day!

Harold Camping failed meet jesus two yeas ago

Today marks Harold Camping is overdue an end of the world by four years.

So lets wish Harold (who has yet to return from the dead and so is overdue) and his alive cult believers a happy anniversary.

Happy Harold Camping day everybody

Reality versus Idealism.


do i look fat ?

Bananas was wondering about in Camdem (near the zoo) when some human females nearby where talking about dieting for that wedding address one of them is supposedly getting to wear.

So having attracted a human male in ‘fat’ mode* they now want to be different.


upgraded man ?

I really don’t understand humanity sometimes.  I mean do they get a upgraded man if they fit in a size zero dress ? is that how it works.

I will seek an explanation from our Sally (my blog) i think. Humans.

* the shape they are in now