The french car form adventure

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

Bananas was asked by professor to get a air quality certificate (this is not a boring post) for his car when he goes on safari to France.

He only knew of it via the fud of a newspaper (my blog) that he does not read and the extended family read. His attempts to figure out this shit are laughable as four weeks have past since then and i go see professor and eventually get roped into this exercise in french form filling that costs euros too.

So much for the european free market and this is before brexit (my blog).  Whether or not the french use the lack of such a thing as an excercise to make money from foreigners* either via fines for not having one or tax for having a label i suppose is a moot point now.  But there well known for it and the rest of the eu is also fair game to Jorge the bureaucratic frenchman.

Its a fairly pain free process if your aware of french civil servants ideals via a website name, make, vin number provided that is you have the right registration documents at the right address.

More ‘complex’ things needed include the emissions standard of which a google search got me a value that the form liked and was on the form. However professor tells me that the value stated is not on on the label supplied but incremented by one.  You views on the right value seems to be a judgement call between ignoring what is on the form is right or wrong – i guess one set of bureaucrats would be most upset by that. .

Then they want a jpeg of the registration document that is a very small attachment size. First attempts scanned the document (four pages) in where 8 mb – the target was 400kb

not that sort of gimp, perhaps a zoo attracttion ?

So they only got part of the document, after a lot of faffing about with that scanner and the gimp* (my blog) the french government expects you to own and able to use, oh and scp to copy the file to professors workstation.

In the end on my first attempt i get a car that can be registered that the computer in France seems to accept and professor does the rest.

While his ownership document and the french might be mildly compatible per eu regulations it seems that this is not liked by the tax collecting authorities and so a special process only to them is ‘required’.

I think that breaks the eu ‘spirit’ but that’s just me thinking about the issue.  If this was some rant about paid roads (not government) then this would be crazy talk but its a process that tells government something that they already know if even i do not know what that information is and as one computer can ask another.

It seems there are French bureaucrats who are sceptic of the eu dont tell them but i am on to them..

Something to think about. *open source graphics manipulatiom – enjoy the joke * includes road haulers hgv’s etc

The car key

keyBananas has been watching a youtube channel in which the ‘secure’ individual key has been diminished by as this authorised agent tries various keys to find he has one that opens doors and switches on the car.  Most of these cars are american made but it does raise a question.

European cars seem more secure provided you cannot sniff the wireless protocol.

wenlock a policeman

wenlock a policeman

In England the Metropolitan police here London once ‘lost’ a set of universal car keys in the past and these where known to have entered criminal society.

a number

I guess with enough patience and a vin a spare set of keys could be easily made.

Think about it.

1960’s technology with a hint of mutta

moobbuggyThe monkey house recorded a tv thing about the moon rovers, if the us ever goes futher than the moon then the cars for local things will mostly be of 1960 technology

In Space Brothers (my blog) goes over the most of the content abet in fiction rather than documentary which documented the efforts to make short haul transport for the moon.

To my surprise most of the moon machine technology dates from 1970 and is still touted as good for everything else minus the the gps of which Mutta installed.

The documentary was very american in focus but remains a lasting object which will not rust which cannot be said of earth based cars.  In fact it could be said that only now is the technology on the moon being adapted for earth.

Government documents

shitbritishleylandcarProfessor ‘lost’ a number of government documents relating to cars during his move (my blog) so we apes where tasked to find them somewhere before they got sent to the peoples republic of Swansea.

daiquir

daiquir

Prof’s new house is really nice and while we all hunted for official government brown envelopes which we found and we then got rewarded with banana daiquiri’s.

That’s living, however it make sense since with austerity charges from government for replacement documents at £20 each it means its worth not losing them to start with and they had been misplaced rather than really lost.

There is not a lot of free when your dealing with uk government forms and that’s avoiding the scams (my blog)

Professors Renault gouffre financier

renaultOur professor was complaining about a renault clio to us apes here in the zoo.  Apparently its had a new windscreen wiper motor, camshaft, strut so some strange issues so a money pit.

Renault might be a mainstream brand but when it costs more than an bmw to fix go figure there is a issue.  Whether his garage he uses are crooks or not is a question but quite how a windscreen wiper motor burns out is a question that even Renault have some responsibility over – while yes it does rain it hardly rains 24 hours everyday.

New neighbours for the zoo.

Bentley and Ferari owners apparently look like this

Bentley and Ferari owners apparently look like this

The zoo has some odd humans living near to us (my blog) but recently we heard that there downsizing due to bad decisions which sort of explains the quiet which is unexpected.

Cars that once had number plates now are without as well so i guess they will be collected soon to plaque somebody else on five minute trips as a way of boasting to extended family amd not impressing us zoo inhabitants..

 I assume the buy to let properties have been sold that I once overheard while on a visit to a library.  What this says about expensive car owners is something you can think on.

I know what i think

 

Over the hills and far away (something with a satnav)

tomtomThe gps sat nav (my blog) is clever, people using them not so.

The monkey house gave our address and time slot one day and the time came and went a couple of latter our guest appeared after the sat nav took them the scenic.  route.

It was hard not laugh.  Anyhow the human asked us for directions back so i guess the trip back was not as mystical.

Block paving craziness moments observed

pavedBlock paving is bricks as roads and something that i think is plain weird.  This brings me to these humans (my blog) near the zoo who entertain the zoo and us apes with the going ons of a bizarre nature.

First of these is that not all humans are experts in doing block paving, In icy conditions you get a skating surface so do expect insurance claims.

Then there is the weird behaviour of putting sand down on these bricks which will be washed off either by the weather or a person with a hosepipe.  Sometimes there even painted with anti slip coatings.   These brick things are an self perpetuating industry quite why anybody thinks there a good idea is a question needing an answer as seen in the wilds of camdem.