government high quality photograph civil servant code speak deciphered.

Female fortune teller with crystal ball, mouth open, portrait

I was asked to take some photos for a passport application and once supplied with the equipment i did so but the government did not like the cameras low quality picture settings,  it came coming up with the bullshit reason ‘cannot see eyes’, or picture is in ‘black and white’ rather than your camera settings are bloody awful in our opinion and try again you moron.

Finding a blank wall was a fun challenge too.

Eventually i cotton on that the camera settings are not government happy and fiddle and change the size to megabytes per photo (expandable to A0 size) and boom the picture is accepted while it loaded up.

It would nice if governments would make there bloody minds up if they want massive amounts of data or minimal data (my blog).  Its a guessing game.

Carol Beer little britain says computer said no

Anyhow i better start learning how to read tea leaves, its a sort of skill set and based on the guess the problem above should help everybody figure out civil servant speak.

Once loaded without ‘computer says no’ professor was happy and i went about entertaining zoo guests once more.

This also meant no visit to a high street (my blog) for overpriced Polaroids which i bet the government dislikes a lot now.  I wonder how long those cameras used will be de-approved  by the civil servants.

‘middle” labour ?

It’s all going wrong in red/blue politics.  Corbyn (my blog) is like May (my blog) are signs that both red and blue parties are far right or far left.

As to what middle labour and is it electable remain questions unanswered.   The days of being a member of two or three parties (winston churchill) have long gone.

The liberals stuck in the middle also have problem to one lot there light blue, and another lot think there light red.

Thus middle labour sounds like a pregnancy stage.

We are screwed indicates the blue monster

If the dutch have no idea, and  nobody here knows what the hell is going on then it really has gone blue and furry (my blog).

yanis varoufakis (my blog) i think is right.    I don’t think comrade May (my blog) and party  is going to be re-elected mind you as a non majority government even now the writing is on the wall.

May (my blog) has f***ed the blues not just in Sunderland.

Hive frost protect works and our new budgie (unwanted)

Hive (my blog) is a closed source heating controller and with the monkey house out i switched off the heating and waited for frost protect to come on , after six attempts since installation  i actually got it to trip and put the heating on for 12c .

I am sure it always would have worked but its nice to know that it does.

The heating has to be on so if your boiler dies it wont work which brings me to our latest guest – a failing gas detector

Beep is all it does with a bad battery according to what beep means on the printed words on the unit every twenty seconds in the text on the thing.  It appears to be cold phobic or nihilistic in wanting to become ewaste sooner rather than later .

I guess i should call an animal rescue charity, or we put it down.   If you want a free budgie come to the monkey house.   It comes with no vet bills.

Oddly there is no carbon monoxide deemed ‘smart’  just shows you the limitations of iot open or closed source.  But i guess turning it off would be anti business,  turning it on is fine.

Logic in there somewhere.

The mary portas problem personified

A pair of very old winter boots started clowning around (my blog) recently and having asked how much to fix them and being given a forget it price I had to go shopping .

Instead of visiting a high street (incurring fares or parking fines [both my blog])  i remained in the monkey house and went shoe shopping. I came close to nearly buying on one site but could not remember if i had an account with them.   They where evasive on the issue and i thought i could do better.

Wanting a smart pair of boots i went elsewhere and they where 50% cheaper than the quoted repair of the old boots – they did  also need new bottoms anyhow and where twenty years old something nobody was able to do  in the past apparently not until now.

Being unwearable they where recycled and within two days the new shoes where picked and delivered when most shops would have been closed.

I cannot fault it  there being

‘no we dont have your size’,

or any other excuse. Sure it is that time of year to buy this kind of stuff its not Antarctic coat buying in mid summer

They fit too.

I wonder how the queen of charity shops (my blog) would perceive this.  Money is money.

the useless samsung ‘account’ and a warning to Disney corporation shareholders

No drm on the old tv sets

Elsa (my blog) is a smart tv or so i thought, one fta channel streaming app is not supplied because they used flash (my blog), its browser is ancient (my blog) so one evening i attempted to eventually create a samsung account.   I found no means to upgrade or add /delete apps (hello disney shareholders too) and so deleted the samsung account from the smart tv

I have a samsung account but looked at (via a real pc) it is for for mobile phones not tv’s   I would rather not create personalised tv viewing data for samsung to sell being its main purpose in life in my humble opinion

As the tv is short on expansion i can see why kodi sticks are the way to go.

So will i be watching disney streaming tv on elsa  – no cannot rather than will not unless a new tv is bought and i doubt that will happen.   If your a disney shareholder then do not expect us to buy your streaming products so quit trying to be netflix.

I actually like netflix  original content and i am glad that when the disney stuff will leave as it creates future opportunities for them to do new things for instance dc comic’s lesser comic book characters.   Which kind of proves my theory that the origin story is the best and after that diminishing returns are the order of the day.

mafia run the british red cross

The magic word here is cannot,so if your a shareholder in disney then many people will not simply be able to access disney pay tv unless they buy something on a stick, or junk there tv’s.

Capice ?

As a newish tv and somebody who cannot see 4k, yet alone 8k resolution i do kind of doubt the monkey house will be buying new tv’s anytime soon

Weird uk state run economics (or fuck you poor people)

Gordon Brown (my blog) was not a wise prime minister and a man of the people opposed to a tory. He introduced loans and the rest they say is history.

So much for labour being for the average.  That bit them in the rear.

Clearly there is logic there after all if everybody pays it makes sense to do it.


Another is train fares (my blog) .  It is probably cheaper to own a car for some  journeys rather than use a train here in the uk unless you engage in voodoo techniques such as multiple tickets about three months ahead of schedule.  Which is  the same thing with the ‘loans’.

Professor told us that the peak fare doubles compared with the off peak fare which made the car journey economically viable even off peak.

A Bogota bus

That could also be a discouragement to go shopping (my blog).  So also anti social mobility and access to sjw universities is more costly.  Well done Gordon Brown man of the people.

I am not sure a  thirty five year old diesel train is green either in the scale of things but thats another blog post