Derryck John thug of the year

Derryck John

Avoid this scumbag and his unidentified criminal friends who he did not give up*.

John, of Croydon, (my blog( pleaded guilty to six counts of throwing a corrosive liquid with intent to “disable, burn, maim, disfigure or cause grievous bodily harm”, two counts of robbery and four counts of attempted robbery.

He deserves more than ten years, and a few more – scumbag of 2017 winner i think unless you don’t think eyesight is valued

*is he being paid to keep quite still

identity thief crooks at large in Swansea Wales

The zoo had to deal with the dvla who do driving stuff here, if yur american these people are a bit more professional than your dmv setup.

Some government identity document had to be returned because its the government. But it had to be damaged first as it appears the post office has employed identity theft crooks in Swansea who do not forward the mail to this government department.

I suppose it is a juicy target as the mail has a value but one of which is flawed as the government is the target.

I somehow doubt that there are job openings at the Swansea post office the reasons you can figure out..

The zoo has a marmite abuser

Marmite (my blog) has occasionally come up in this blog  They have clever advertising which takes the piss out of animal charities (my blog) and a downright scary for privacy reasons* dna test which goes to unilever with a dna sample.  You apparently get a piece of paper telling you if your a lover or a hater.

Most people seem to not see that aspect

The monkey houses bottle of marmite was smashed today so clearly i need to ring somebody and inform them that marmite has been abused.  Should you have an unloved bottle of marmite (my blog) please bring it to the zoo care of the monkey house and it will be looked after provided the abuser does not get to it.

*worth money and privacy issue if you think beyond that sound ‘fun’


Don’t mention the Murdochs…

I read Max Clfford (my blog) has died in prison  While Clifford may have preyed on foolish people with a ‘tale to tell’, the Murdoch family (my blog( paid him what they wanted too.

A value statement of dubious value.

Having himself stated

Every day, every week, every month, a lot of the lies that you see in the newspapers, in the magazines, on television, on the radio, are mine.

Mean the Murdoch family and News international are also partly responsible and not the arbiters of the fourth estate he and others there think they be*, although oddly Murdoch can do no wrong but Clifford could.  Funny that.

*Max Clifford news is ‘fake’

How much! and adverts too

also in beige

The zoo needed pc’s as some of them are well over ten years old and showing signs of hardware issues like forgetting the time** and being a bit slow with other regular seek human movements that persuaded the zoo to flash some cash on stuff..

Naturally i go to a site that i can buy to order rather than buy hp (my blog) or another brand get what we need without the crap copy of windows which is a lot cheaper than in stock and off the shelf from online retailers.


Deselecting windows 10 (my blog) resulted in the zoo shaving £100 off the bill (converted tp usd 130.00 at time i wrote this. So next time you wonder what you could do with an spare $130 makes using open source software a lot of sense.

mafia run microsoft

Apparently I also read that Microsoft are putting adverts everywhere in windows 10 so in addition to buying mafia insurance* from microsoft they also plaster adverts over it.

I am fascinated that people pay microsoft for this software via hardware vendors who i assume do it for laziness and some very shady microsoft sales staff.

Sure we have to install something on the hardware, but even windows needs setting up.

*nice shop window there, we will use it to sell your competitors products and spy on you. ** can break websites will refuse to load if your bios believes its 1/1/1980

Buggy yahoo email (or easy identity theft)

irishdrunkI was reading that yahoo email services (as used by bt.plc) where susceptible to cookie attacks adding to the litany of woes at yahoo whom could not organise a piss up in a brewery – they might be toxic environments to the people Yahoo management think it should employ

I have a scenario where if you want to steal something then doing it via Yahoo would be easy (the zoo does not use yahoo) and somebody the zoo knows with yahoo had the scenario played out.

Since your average isp thinks email is ‘hard’. Yahoo is one of those things that fixes it.  But say an.ape@isp is hacked and a nefarous person creates an.ape@isp1 both hosted by yahoo that it looks a plausible attack since

  1. it comes from yahoo address zone
  2. it will be protected by the same things the other thing has.

I am not sure if bad security on the yahoo user was more to blame but yahoo is also culpable for some of this.

The fake email was spotted as a fake but yahoo do love to make it easy.

Play it again Susan Mauldin

Equifax famous for data breaches hired a music major to be head of computer security – apparently she knows sod al about computers. Another computer in equiifax could have been accessed with default Microsoft credentials admin/password.

For a credit agency equifax she knows the tunes shame about the security. The drop in share value it appears was the only reason this non technical computer security person was fired rather than knowing there job or getting somebody to patch them.

Oracle (my bllog) might also be due some blame but then again if a security note from March [it is september now seven months later writing this] was never acted upon by either means these credit experts and computer experts [oracle] with data on you are nothing of the sort.

a woman

I am not sure how composing music makes you a top technical management talent but that’s me a monkey in the zoo thinking on stuff.  Somebody got fired for buying Oracle a result in my humble opinion.

Lets hope that message gets passed around.   I hope equifax demand a refund from Oracle as what the fuck would a music grad know about computer security.

Microsofts very bad telephone lines

Kkaran Bahree indian thief

An Indian called ‘dave’ rang the monkey house and told us our non existent*** Microsoft pc is telling him it has errors.  I was naturally overjoyed to hear this this great news about this problem.

So being a nice monkey who values retards who give us good news i decided to waste six minutes of his time after all Microsoft employees and partners clearly should be thanked for this kind of work i mean we did not know we even had a microsoft os running on computer

There was more hiss* (my blog) than dave who cannot comprehend that a phone might be a computer – big brown beige computers are suppose still a thing somewhere i guess..


Since i was unwilling to find this non existing pc in the monkey house, and knowing that the phone (my blog) was fine as I asked if the phone had a problem and as it was not a computer and so not sending errors the Indian called dave blocked the non existent windows computer from sending errors for free.

A solution that suited us perfectly, but they dont have to waste our time by phoning us next time.

Thank you Microsoft** you and your crooked partners.(my blog) you did good today – keep up this stellar work

*a pun ** aka Microshit *** Schroedingers cat might mean it could exist i suppose – anybody have a box ?

Cancer charity scams

Meet Wendy Watson MBE (not here) of National Hereditary Breast Cancer Helpline

Since 2012, the charity’s accounts also show that as little as 2.8% of annual donations has been spent on “charitable activities”, such as running the helpline

No wonder there is no cure for any cancer, its a nice little owner for Wendy Watson and ilk for the pink trademark as well, after all if you cure something you dont need scam artists like Watson MBE.

Think about it.

phone [pots] call blockers are ugly

If you get me on the phone here in the monkey house then it is the last resort, and i am once again getting complaints about scammy calls from india from people like Kharan Bahree (my blog) down the bush telegraph eg can i fix it by concerned zoo employees..

Fortunately our non existent microsoft windows infrastructure has been totally disabled by indians who work for embrace extend and extinguish Microsoft (my blog) and we have yet to notice it with there magic computer things detecting stuff* which cost the zoo nothing in them helping us.  There is a value judgement on indian businesses there if your not paying attention.

launch missiles and block telephone scammers

So i got called in to the zoo to discuss call blockers which look damm fucking ugly and look good in the oval office for missile launching.  Our dect phone system is a varied mix of versions some can do some things and others not mean questions that your average call blocker seems not to have.

I decide to find out and discover caller id is needed and it does work across dect handsets which is nice as it means no changing handsets.  I am dubious to the claim that one blocker is needed for two base stations but hey that’s me and a look through ‘technical’ documentation was the one fib i caught from the online chat.

Anyhow that’s the lowdown and its now up to zoo to decide now.  I would rather not have to install a new dect system but i think it is the only option.

I hate phone systems.- mind you since microsoft make shit products it is not surprising that there sewage goes everywhere even to copper phone networks

*eg lets rip off the zoo