Ladies day and beta female apes

pony boy

All the beta female apes are likely to go missing from the monkey house today and will probably end up in the zoo’s security office where the horse racing is on.  Not because they like horse racing but because of the hats.

lizzards mam

The apes in question strangely never wear hats.   If you can explain this bonkers thinking, i offer a banana skin prize which you can collect from the zoo.

I also am aware that hooligans like horse racing recently whether or not there gypsies and there for there usual troublemaking was not specified but when a huge fight  starts perhaps not all is well with the world of betting and horses.

If you can derive any logic from this well your doing better than i am.

irrational shoes from the internet

ebau killed the mouse

Sally (my blog) was buying shoes here in the zoo, being asked i could not see the size but they got ordered anyhow by some kind of i can use the internet ape nearby.

Swede was wanted, black leather is what arrived.  Since i have no idea what was ordered or if the supplier was keen to get rid of a size. Why? is something i cant answer thankfully.

So glad i did not get roped into this although the seo traffic hijack from amazon to ebay shows something is crooked at ebay*.  More on that at another time.

I note that Sally has yet to buy further shoes online since so ebay could be considered a impediment to e-commerce.

That does not surprise me.

*i consider ebay a bunch of criminals


unfashionable ebooks

I read that ebooks are now untrendy (my blog) and paper books are ‘in’ .  Somehow people are rather intelligent or lazy in not wanting to carry another thing as it is now perceived as a bit big.

I have my own theory that drm and not being able to buy titles and meddling by Microsoft with the only other ereader have not helped.  It is interesting to note that people do buy second hand readers rather than a new one if there old one dies of some issue – so the value of new ones seems depreciated.

While i can read some non drm formats it is on a computer not a e-reader so i never have never owned one,





Pretending being a lion

Pretending being a lion

Clothes and the perceptions around them amuse our professor here in the zoo he tells us that his other half spends weeks cleaning clothes for holidays then packs them in plastic bags does not wear them when they are once again cleaned and put away before repeating the whole cycle once again at a later date.

The monkey house nor the professor understands the logic.  Being an ape has advantages over a human.

The walking runner


Vandal or a runner ?

Bananas was going about her daily routine which that day involved a post box for sending a letter. So I walked out of the zoo and encountered a runner with all the clothing on that says i’m running duh and also equipped a computer because athletics types are shit at maths and brainy stuff (my blog).

I after being ‘overtaken’ I and the runner then had to go up a hill and that’s when the running stopped for the runner and the walking began for the runner.. I laughed.

In the end i visit the red box and walk the longer way back to the zoo and i pass the runner again on another hill but they again are walking. I never changed pace.

Perhaps the runner was wearing the wrong tights they where flat land tights rather than uphill tights.  Somebody has to sell those right ? – some american firm tried to sell fitness shoes until the advertising standards lot called them out for the ‘fact’

Monkey hair is perfect for both gradients and flat land and being an ape it comes included. monkey hair is trendy too.

The things people do.

Outlander,Diana Gabaldon

skirts and dresses for all

skirts and dresses for all

isbn: 9781784751371 is something made into a tv series that the uk government had suppressed during the scottish referendum (my blog).  I have not seen it and so this is a pay tv thing from the guy who reimaged bsg.

The first book weighs in at 860 pages was first published in 1991 where it appears to be not interesting until tv found it.

Commonwealth Games - Team Scotland Kitting Out - University of StirlingSo starting with this seems a good idea with a bit of time travel and dashing men in skirts so a bit like now.

Set first in 1946 this book varies between upper class banter and the usual suspects like the b&b owner etc and after a while this tiresome exchange is replaced with tea readings and a trip to some stones and bang its not 1946 any more.

laddete to lady

laddete to lady

Phew.  more tea vicar ? anyhow things go snp and its a lot of human drama.  I lost interest soon after page 100.

um err something um 0/5 bananas.Womens literature* and not something i have any further interest in.

* mills and boon



Belt sizing

uncle albert

uncle albert the nudist

What size ape are you is not a question asked of us monkey house residents but should be.  This is a rant about clothes and fur coats which is the thing if your ape.

I dont change clothes sizes however depending upon the measurements by a famous company i may +2 inches or -2 inches depending upon 1990 specs to 2000 specs so i wear a belt on both items.  The smaller size fits but is snug that it does not need a belt its a tribal thing being urbane apes

Alas my belt broke after twelve years of service so i asked professor for one on his exotic travels to places you may also have been.  On his return i thank him but notice that the belt also suffers from a miscommunication – yes too much was cut of it.

It works but it seems even belts suffer from bad sizing.

Clothing Poverty,Andrew Brooks and contributors

hipsterisbn: 9781783600670 is a book about clothes of whom Mary Portas (my blog) is guilty of many crimes.

The first chapter deals with jeans from cotton to production, and the aftermarkets and Karl Marx gets the odd mention.  Its informative and globalised.

The authors make a leap too far with banana prices trying to link prices to free markets rather than colonial quotas of which the wto and americans did not like so i am not sure what the authors consider worse. Quite how bananas and cotton are related in prices could be a problem can also be said to affect northern farmers as well as southern* farmers in all markets.

Alisher Usmanov

Alisher Usmanov who owns a football club

The author also barely mentions Uzbekistan (my blog) which  might have something to do Tony Blair being friendly with the local oligarch after all everything is great there with film stars picking cotton for there billionaire ruler (rare bbc ‘news’).  Being pro worker is another problem after all if even the Chinese can be accused of being colonial and that bosses are bad even the communist ones is a point made at page 140 although it feels an admission of failure being those lot are doing it as well.

Movement from manufacturers and retailers in recycling is also criticised despite the damage charity operations do in developing countries.  The economics interest the author more but its a thoughtful book despite a hint of regret about how things work and who is doing them be they sjw’s or right minded thinkers..

4/5 bananas. * south means hot, where north is cold not the border at watford (humour)