all our wrong todays,Elan Mastai

isbn: 9780718184070 is an odd book since it is written by a film screen writer which means it failed the hollywood test.  I am not inclined to rate it as a book since the writer really is not a writer.

It shall be interesting to see if it now passes the hollywood test, i somehow doubt it will.  Interesting for its comment on the film industry but not a book

0/5 bananas

Art imitates life ? or weirdo film fans

237Room 237  (imdb:tt2085910) is a look at the shining a Stanely Kilbrick film which divides opinion although i find horror films generally flawed (my blog).

Anyhow it was on very early one day which i recorded on free tv.   Despite the problems that the film is not the book snob purists many of the fan contributions strike me as plain retarded including the faked moon landings featured person who probably thinks captain kirk is also proof that the moon**  does not also exist.

These people strike me as deranged – the last seemed to assume he was going to become a psychopath and copy the film, and the people who watch film backwards seem to be from the bible bashers fringe who did that with elvis and metal music.

Points are made about set too, but these deranged ‘uber fans’ forget about the practicable nature of film making which seems odd.   I could poke further holes but it is not nice to make fun of the mentally retarded after all its well known that George Lucas got fed up building two death stars*.

0/5 bananas horror fans really are that retarded.   Stanely definitely had the last laugh on these people.

*joke **thats no moon – win a banana skin you can name the film

The unmentionable bigot

retard says sorryA long time ago Bananas read a book from an amazon list when they where shaking up publishing from its laziness (my blog).  Back then it was considered merit worthy and it was let down right at the end by its bigoted author who meant it never got a blog post here.

Then many years later a film was made and the bigot who had since become very well known for bigoted views even by me was called out for which i never saw it until it was on free television.  After all money encourages there people to continue to do awful things and it appears the bigoted followers neither saw it in a cinema either.

Much of the bigots setup was scrapped from the film and even if bigoted made it into a popcorn film with an option for sequels which have not since happened – phew although i did not see it all the way through it rather got lost.

You may have noticed that i have not mentioned anything and yes that was intentional. Oh the book was better if you want a hint but i threw it away.

Bloggers and that ‘ya’ thing dream.

sparkleBananaas in the Falklands has no desire to write a book, or a screenplay aimed at anybody including the teenage market which is or ‘was’ apparently ‘hot’ until the money stopped after all its been done a lot.

Why is Bananas jaded ? no because she lives in a monkey enclosure and sees humans every day but for same reasons such as

  • do you really want to write a derivative work of harry potter and twlight as you know that ‘sells’.
  • you cannot write what you mean (no sex please i’m writing for teenagers), and you might be considered racist/sexist/chimp** if you do not have a race and gender mix including the ‘deviants’*** and then the bible thumpers still wont read it.
  • Your monster cannot fill just one book, you have to write three*  – quality will go down
  • Hollywood might take your idea and screw it up, professional writers also suffer from this too your going to have upset readers, or some other reason to regret it

So next time i see a visitor and somebody says i want to be a ya author are you feeling well ? Mind you with wordpress being a poor reading place  – click this, go there i have not seem to ran into wannabe writers as i once did.

Anyhow at least that fad is over

* so much for brevity ** i joke  but you get idea no monkeys then its not inclusive. *** deviant in this case means anything offensive to Christians who ban books from schools in america for being unwholesome.


Television industry versus Neflix – some thoughts.

The television industry apparently now perceives netflix * (my blog) as a threat but many of televisions ‘woes’ where made by them.

For a start before netflix there was vhs, and many television stations ate there young content either by showing it at odd times like breaking bad, and then cancelling the run on broadcast tv as a more modern example, i could give older examples..

If it did not get the numbers or tampons sold tough via the retards at a c neilson. So the question is why did it get a shit schedule point. I think tv screwed up breaking bad, not netflix.

Then multichannel tv came, with some piracy by the murdoch family a monopoly was created and tv output was graded so sport was deemed more expensive than drama. If you like me hate sport then television is for fat people watching sport

If your producing something and netflix pays for it when the television mafia will either show at an awful time and not give you good money for it for that reason then clearly why would not you sell it to netflix.  After all nobody cared in tv..

moranThen the tv people who just showed three episodes at one am in the morning it complain. What strange people they are.

*no japanese anime here either

Chav cinema’s problem with non superhero films

loyalcardLoyalty cards do change there behaviour over time and one i occasionally borrow / ‘use’ was declared as useless as airmiles (my blog) recently

Adding things is easy, ‘removing’ them for use is well apparently you cannot do that.  Not worth bothering with which brings me to oscar season when all those films you had never heard of get a monday morning in January cinema schedule time in the multiplex.

I was looking at a website where the loyalty card scheme (my blog) of this chain of cinemas was offering extra culture points if there clients see such films.

They might win gongs of a dubious nature* but the appetite for such films is limited and this is a problem that said chains only make worse with limited distribution.

*my friend gave me a prize


The last ape not to see that disney star wars film



True to my banana i have yet to see the lens flared (my blog) new star wars film (my blog). So that’s at least two of us who have not seen it

Why well lens flare is just a bright light ‘effect’ that anyone can perform with a torch and wearing sunglasses to that persons films seems silly.

So if you did see it did you enjoy the latest Jar Jar character? But remember its not a high priority here.  I have no intention of seeing it.

I also note that those £110 plus tax toys i wrote of from above are still for sale.  Oh and what’s his face ([as seen on tv] my blog) will be probably be selling them for under that in the future.

If your not a crazy fan then good for you, however if your sanity* is in doubt then write me a comment.  After all you have more toys** to buy and i bet you are really excited about that.

*i prefer the homophobic and racist star wars fans to comment. **playing with dollies,, what do the mental health profession (my blog) think of you they probably have a nice straight jacket made for you.

Over to you.

The angry green thing


Brown bread?

In the topic of children’s comics (my blog) it is now time to take a look at the Hulk who might a gay wrestler type except that theres not a lot except teaching moments in this sub par ‘hero’ who not even hollywood can redeem it or the vision  lets face facts when you dump edward norton (my blog) your deep in problems.

In the 1970’s a television series co acted by steroid junkie and an actor and it varies greatly.  Most people want to see scenery chewing by the green bloke on steroids, the actor who gets pissed off by the various social injustices of the time is a damm slow learner and there is the teachable thing for the kiddies.

The science also varies between radiation and genetics in the proceeding decades, but the ability to grow a new leg or something would be really cool.

I did not pay to see these in a cinema, and the television series can be found on a television if your so inclined,i am not queuing for a ticket.

As to the opportunities there’s always a reboot but its a limited audience after all there is little coherence to the dual personality when there is no matching intelligence no wonder the ensemble super hero thing coming soon  is desperately needed .

Authors who got screwed by Hollywood

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

The brand is detrimental to Holywood, so let us hope that the most recent toy product* is still popular in twenty five years time.  Although the advertising industry realized the concept long before those ‘arty’ hollywood types did.  Lazy is an word that might describe them better.

Anyhow once a authors brand creation has made it (my blog) in a film or tv format that means it is a proven product despite it not making money in the hollywood accounting fraud (my blog).

I understand why this chap (my blog) hates films.

It had a couple of big name stars in, it copied the graphics of the thing that made it ok for hollywood, and looked very cgi where even i thought should there not also be cgi in that camera shot.

Of interest here is Philip Pullman and the film gravity which is is based on a intellectual property licensed and then stolen of which i will write more on one day

* both father and son