The french car form adventure

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

Bananas was asked by professor to get a air quality certificate (this is not a boring post) for his car when he goes on safari to France.

He only knew of it via the fud of a newspaper (my blog) that he does not read and the extended family read. His attempts to figure out this shit are laughable as four weeks have past since then and i go see professor and eventually get roped into this exercise in french form filling that costs euros too.

So much for the european free market and this is before brexit (my blog).  Whether or not the french use the lack of such a thing as an excercise to make money from foreigners* either via fines for not having one or tax for having a label i suppose is a moot point now.  But there well known for it and the rest of the eu is also fair game to Jorge the bureaucratic frenchman.

Its a fairly pain free process if your aware of french civil servants ideals via a website name, make, vin number provided that is you have the right registration documents at the right address.

More ‘complex’ things needed include the emissions standard of which a google search got me a value that the form liked and was on the form. However professor tells me that the value stated is not on on the label supplied but incremented by one.  You views on the right value seems to be a judgement call between ignoring what is on the form is right or wrong – i guess one set of bureaucrats would be most upset by that. .

Then they want a jpeg of the registration document that is a very small attachment size. First attempts scanned the document (four pages) in where 8 mb – the target was 400kb

not that sort of gimp, perhaps a zoo attracttion ?

So they only got part of the document, after a lot of faffing about with that scanner and the gimp* (my blog) the french government expects you to own and able to use, oh and scp to copy the file to professors workstation.

In the end on my first attempt i get a car that can be registered that the computer in France seems to accept and professor does the rest.

While his ownership document and the french might be mildly compatible per eu regulations it seems that this is not liked by the tax collecting authorities and so a special process only to them is ‘required’.

I think that breaks the eu ‘spirit’ but that’s just me thinking about the issue.  If this was some rant about paid roads (not government) then this would be crazy talk but its a process that tells government something that they already know if even i do not know what that information is and as one computer can ask another.

It seems there are French bureaucrats who are sceptic of the eu dont tell them but i am on to them..

Something to think about. *open source graphics manipulatiom – enjoy the joke * includes road haulers hgv’s etc

Lazy people – something about smart phones

really uncool

The monkey house has been discussing smart phones and the cost while the phone bit is cheap how you obtain the hardware is the thing as own/rent/hire are all options.

Laziness is expensive and as the technical ape who knows sod all about this sort of thing it was an education – renting is expensive say £25 a month over two years, buying outright new from a phone company is expensive but doing it separately is an area where if you have the cash upfront means big savings.

Avoiding microsoft products of course (my blog))i found a reasonably price unknown brand but with android (my blog) 5.1 os for under £80 [not hard]. Over two years that’s £3.5 monthly  if i keep my 24 a month term from above and own the phone.

The moral is buy – dont rent and do not go to a phone shop for anything. Counter intuitive but those tv adverts, shops and unhelpful staff* do add to the cost.  Being an ethical customer is also  a sign of being a mug

Whether the ape who wants this ‘phone’ has the ability to use it if a another question as i go down this rabbit hole – more posts in the future on phones.

*not something your average salesperson wants to do is teach silver surfers how to use a smart phone..

When the public library is a non starter even for me

I was reading this (guardian not here) so i thought i would entertain you all with a tale.

It started with me trying to sort a data table by geolocation [not that hard], which eventually after a bit of googling got me to python which is not a reptile but a language which i am not that too clued up on.

I like new (to me) stuff and while i might have used perl before i decided to see if there where any library books – after all  i doubt they would have any perl books

I look stuff up, there is one children’s book with a brief mention of it* within a book on robots contained within a population of several million humans.

So being the zoo has  internet i give on the public library and fiddle to create a basic script which fixes my problem of which i am happy with.

millsandboonI also requested that the library system get some updated subject books in another area recently (i had to visit in person) and eventually they came.  One (both not of my choice)  was ok the other was written by a crook however it beat the 2001 for dummies version that was obsolete.

Mills and Boon is there level.

So next time your wondering why people dont use the library it is because i and they don’t read mills and boon romance novels who the civil servants n charge  seem very willing to buy in bulk romance novels.

In another example i was looking for another technical book in a different langauge and found one copy of it.  Unfortunately the person who had it was not returning it, so once again i i hunted on the internet and found something to get me started . I would buy a book if i knew a good one to buy but i don’t know.

Karen Bradley ignorant fool

Karen Bradley ignorant fool

So next time some govenment person – meet Karen says they want a modern library remember that one childrens book about robots and an book kept by a keptomatic must mean there doing something right after all one person in a million plus demographic benefited.

*i imagine basic.

some fun with a python

Python on debian testing and 64 bit is a bit hit and miss, i386 is a lot more easy especially with the apt-get install modules – but i do like an over complex thing since i am bananas in the falklands.

Anyhow i was losing the battle with a geoip lookup output in some bash scripting which brought me to python, as a newbie to python i found an extract that read a file and with a bit of changing put the country and the ip on the same line.  Sounds simple but my attempts before where not usable in a large dataset if it was five records then its not a huge headache but there where way more than that.

Python looks impressive when bash scripting is not up to the job through command output (so not really a bash issue) even with pipes and redirection  (back to plumbing again).  It is worth considering.

The geoip lookup is quite interesting and how it varies from whois data using the maxmind databases in a fast database file.   Who is* right and wrong on the matter is a debate worth having with ‘None’.  although 127.0.0.1 is None and a decision i do agree with

I primarily use the output like a milter (think dkim), before moving back to bash which can do the rest of the stuff easily –  although i am sure i could get python to do the lot if i desired it however with something that takes a list and converts it means i use it with other log files too with the specific input.

It works for the zoo.  So less is more  – I like python.

*not intended as a pun

msm bias

We apes in the zoo know school uniform  with our many visits but do you ? can you spot the two failures for wrong school uniform

uniform

1                                                            2                                            3

Two is wrong for no blazer logo ([easy] my blog) , one and three are missing data.   Apparently one was wearing the wrong shoes (not that you could see) and three was ok.

What worries me is that the females get a free pass from the the media but the male is by default failing the test by two points of the standard set by the school which i read with the wrong shoes.

Bananas would like to point out that as apes in the zoo we have no issue with the rules of the non local school but the missing photographic evidence.

Goodbye to microsoft windows

scumbag spammer Robert Soloway

scumbag spammer Robert Soloway

Was caused by an attachment virus on the only zoo pc with a windows os that i had to deal with my once week preventative fix picked up. It encrypted the files – for the user and no the zoo did not pay mind you my attempt at bitcoin was a failure (my blog) so even if could have i still probably could not assuming that is that the ransom works.

So i am glad i cannot buy bitcoin, or mine them if thats the only purpose.

I did not execute it but it means no more microsoft here in the zoo.

I had reinstall vista to get a working cd drive on the crap computer (my blog) and then went in a non microsoft os since it would not allow me to boot anything but windows – sony corporation (my blog)comes to mind for that just think that they invent ransomware another great sony product!.

We have backups of the files  so nothing was lost.

Who to blame – well it looked a new virus definition, so me partially but i do already deflect a lot of crap, Microsoft for a lot more blame being they designed it that way and the user for opening that thing and compromising it.

Crook

Crook

I stand by the decision to wipe the computer after all it was compromised and to put not microsoft on it too – so i debricked it called microsoft idiots, and deprived hp of money for new hardware who would have loved the money.

Microsoft windows is a dangerous place, economics wise (tco) it is a not good long term decision.

No more satnav updates (my blog) ever is a downside but if your stupid like they are, or reuse our wga key then clearly then it seems they dont really want you as a customer.

Wifi works- videos play, no files where lost, and the computer is very hard to compromise now being not microsoft.

smile !

smile !

So microsoft and there partners lost a lot.  A good day.despite the effort. Me happy.

Portal update

2015-08-10_00002If you remember i failed portal (my blog) somewhere in chamber 15. After a second attempt i had to use sv_cheats* and the portal anywhere code which got me pasr that issue.

That got me past the jump, and allowed me to continue. However using cheats* can glitch the game. Portal 2 is a much better thought out game.

Eventually i got to the end

Some of the bonus challenges in portal strike me as needlessly silly so portal 2 is the better game.  I still had the issues i mentioned before in the prior post.

*I just could not do it without – other platforms might be more nimble.

Government passwords a tale to amuse

Bananas was wondering about in the zoo when i saw professsor scream at his computer so when he saw me and then screamed help so i wondered over to see what perplexed our expert human.

countdownProfessor was doing something with a government bank of which include the royal bank of scotland (my blog) and others and an online thing that needed a password, he was investing rather the withdrawing but the password had to be ‘complex’. A number of combinations had been tried and a countdown timer sort of from film or television type thing was adding to the drama that needed a bomb disposal actor character as well near by just for the tension with no doubt with a dry martini  standing by and a bikini clad lady not more than few steps away.

Is zero (0) a number ? according to the thing it was not so you could not have a zero, and special characters where also needed.  I even tried rude words and they too where rejected.

Carol Beer little britain says computer said no

Carol Beer little britain says computer said no

Professor in the end gave up and so did i, defeated by the governmental type  password policy even i thought bonkers.

cat_bondAt least the bank security employee was happy, as for the rest of the bank well its not an ideal situation but rules is rules, Perhaps you have to be a trained bomb disposal expert or be a hollywood actor and dressed as such to set a password and 007 is way too short.

Mysteries are the best. Or perhaps the evil villians cat set the password policy,

Does it need an account? four years on with you tube

In 2011 before Edward Snowden (my blog) Google began to integrate google with you tube (my blog) with Vic Gundotras (my blog) leading the charge – now some efficiency is good but i was not joining g+ as i had a youtube account which was little used.

So i declined and youtube lost my monkey eyeballs – lets face facts most content there does not need an account.  Eventually Vic Gundotras left and my desire to either comment (my blog) or post has not been a bucket list item.

Accounts are good when addresses and payment details are needed, however once i create an account i seek a value from it i derive no value for me with a g+ account or the older youtube account.  That might explain why i dont buy printer ink from one firm, but from another now.

frozenAn account might attribute loyalty ‘convenience’ and other marketing words but i dont see why i should explain to a hr staffer why i wrote a comment about a zoo, etc  three years ago that google decided to attribute to me with a g+ account.

I was right.

A meta ‘hour’ (or in which i learn about immersion heater problems over and over again)

Bananas was in the chrome browser (my blog) without an adblock when video adverts came to be the topic of the day for here  Yes exciting ! immersion heaters really are deserving of your eyeballs.

This is a flash issue for me, rather than the advert and flash in firefox (my blog) crashes my linux kernel at a certain size in firefox that is how bad adobe is at writing software.  Anyhow that explains the chrome use as it does not crash being built in the the browser which has a name like peppermint

The first problem is that the many of the adverts repeat and a song with the monkey rapist (my blog) and another pop star called swift sometimes got four plays all in the same loop, once was enough to convince to buy neither on itunes which linux does not support as far a si know.  So i will not be helping to buy another monkey for a pop star to abuse/rape.

smile !

smile !

So how do i get to immersion heaters ? well don’t ask me i am just a consumer here.

However I do like the idea that teenagers or preteens are also in the market as immersion heater repair services market as offered by m k electrical which is based in Milton Keynes which is a new town between london and birmingham which is famous for being a rupert murdoch no go zone, and an amazon warehouse near the m1.

The video for heaters is much longer than the one with the monkey rapist or the other pop star is selling insurance and things like water level indicators that you may not have, the electrical configuration so you get cheaper hot water via switching at night to a lower rate are explained in the general term.

christia absintence requires a monkey to rape

christian absintence requires a monkey to rape

It then pointed out the faults that builders do when they wrongly install gelding heaters wrong either with no visual means to inspect it or fail to plumb the item into the water plumbing. If they also simplify the wiring then the heater either burns out or  is expensive to run due to the wrong circuit/metre getting used.

Informative ! and to make sure i got the message these experts will fix them the same day  if you ring before 10 am.  You have nine hours and fifty five minutes to ring them when i post this, so what are you waiting for* ?  If your reading this after 10am then you have a problem.

immersionAlas we do not have a gledhil immersion heater and i got this extremely educational video about ten times which runs to several minutes each time some as long twenty minutes.

The next morning my isp kindly emailed to say that the monkey houses usage quota hit a level advising us that while i might now know about the possible problems of gelding immersion heaters in the wild it came at at cost.

The anime was not that good undeserving of a blog post, but the heater unit now that’s worth blogging about.

Should you also be fascinated by the relationship of immersion heaters to teen ‘pop’ stars** or there sexual activities with monkeys then there might just be an academic paper in this.

The moral to this is something you can all think on.  I came to the conclusion that immersion heaters are a bit too complex for some people.

Should you be asking ‘Did this happen’ – Yes this really happened and this is no work of fiction.

* the early bird gets the worm – humour ** eg what simon cowell can sell – pop stars having sex with monkeys is ok apparently.