The french car form adventure

Your citroen It needs new ice skates

Bananas was asked by professor to get a air quality certificate (this is not a boring post) for his car when he goes on safari to France.

He only knew of it via the fud of a newspaper (my blog) that he does not read and the extended family read. His attempts to figure out this shit are laughable as four weeks have past since then and i go see professor and eventually get roped into this exercise in french form filling that costs euros too.

So much for the european free market and this is before brexit (my blog).  Whether or not the french use the lack of such a thing as an excercise to make money from foreigners* either via fines for not having one or tax for having a label i suppose is a moot point now.  But there well known for it and the rest of the eu is also fair game to Jorge the bureaucratic frenchman.

Its a fairly pain free process if your aware of french civil servants ideals via a website name, make, vin number provided that is you have the right registration documents at the right address.

More ‘complex’ things needed include the emissions standard of which a google search got me a value that the form liked and was on the form. However professor tells me that the value stated is not on on the label supplied but incremented by one.  You views on the right value seems to be a judgement call between ignoring what is on the form is right or wrong – i guess one set of bureaucrats would be most upset by that. .

Then they want a jpeg of the registration document that is a very small attachment size. First attempts scanned the document (four pages) in where 8 mb – the target was 400kb

not that sort of gimp, perhaps a zoo attracttion ?

So they only got part of the document, after a lot of faffing about with that scanner and the gimp* (my blog) the french government expects you to own and able to use, oh and scp to copy the file to professors workstation.

In the end on my first attempt i get a car that can be registered that the computer in France seems to accept and professor does the rest.

While his ownership document and the french might be mildly compatible per eu regulations it seems that this is not liked by the tax collecting authorities and so a special process only to them is ‘required’.

I think that breaks the eu ‘spirit’ but that’s just me thinking about the issue.  If this was some rant about paid roads (not government) then this would be crazy talk but its a process that tells government something that they already know if even i do not know what that information is and as one computer can ask another.

It seems there are French bureaucrats who are sceptic of the eu dont tell them but i am on to them..

Something to think about. *open source graphics manipulatiom – enjoy the joke * includes road haulers hgv’s etc

Professors ne’er-do-wel experience

Pretending being a lion

Pretending being a lion

A ne’er-do-wel is somebody who sucks the life out of an experience – some are easy to spot and others have a veneer of fake and Professor here in the told us an amusing story about some seemingly nice people who did not have the same values.

The hire car was done on the cheap, no spare car seats so yes it was car for x people but without anything else in it, and ignore the facts that you also have luggage,  the reputability of the insurance is a point also deemed invalid although it perhaps was best that it was not tested which was a start.

Others involved with Prof soon wised up the the ne’er-do-wel and it soon became tense.

It sounded funny to us secondhand, but i am sure it became grating.

Professor learnt a lesson (at a un-recovered cost) so there’s hope for you humans.

It is something that will not happen again to him.

Fusebox fun



Bananas does not play with electricity but the monkey house does have a ‘sensitive’ fuse box.  If a light bulb dies, then we stumble about being urbane apes as the rest of the circuit has no power.

A reset on the fuse box usually fixes the problem and we then discover what went bang.  So if you really want to know how apes it takes to change a lightbulb two or maybe three apes if a ladder is needed in a tree free zone.

telescopic ladder

Oddly our fused plugs never seem to the cause of the problem and these seem redundant with this fuse box.

Sometimes it simply trips a room so the lights might work but the plugs wont.  So if somebody tells a joke about changing a light bulb you know how many apes it takes.  Useful information.

Lazy people – something about smart phones

really uncool

The monkey house has been discussing smart phones and the cost while the phone bit is cheap how you obtain the hardware is the thing as own/rent/hire are all options.

Laziness is expensive and as the technical ape who knows sod all about this sort of thing it was an education – renting is expensive say £25 a month over two years, buying outright new from a phone company is expensive but doing it separately is an area where if you have the cash upfront means big savings.

Avoiding microsoft products of course (my blog))i found a reasonably price unknown brand but with android (my blog) 5.1 os for under £80 [not hard]. Over two years that’s £3.5 monthly  if i keep my 24 a month term from above and own the phone.

The moral is buy – dont rent and do not go to a phone shop for anything. Counter intuitive but those tv adverts, shops and unhelpful staff* do add to the cost.  Being an ethical customer is also  a sign of being a mug

Whether the ape who wants this ‘phone’ has the ability to use it if a another question as i go down this rabbit hole – more posts in the future on phones.

*not something your average salesperson wants to do is teach silver surfers how to use a smart phone..

Android on a pc

I was in a library one day when i looked at one of those supposedly  ‘computer’ magazines which are essentially microsoft shills* nowadays rather than real journalism.  Last computer literature i bought was byte magazine but some shit competing publisher bought it and closed it down

It is more aimed at the hardware buyer naturally with a copy of microsoft windows naturally included not choose your own os and no apple products to be seen either – eg tactics the mafia would use.



Anyhow in a fit of weirdness they had an article on (not a neil gaiman book) which is a android on pc os but naturally for ‘older’ pc’s just to keep things you know microsoft friendly.

I tried it and it is basic but has good linux support for hardware but it needs a 8gb usb stick.

You still need to sign in so its not a really different version of andriod but interesting if rather google centric.  An alternative to linux on old pc’s too if your unwilling to try something (my blog) like that and know it via your phone.

I was exploring how it implemented flash and it failed those tests, but if your pissed off with Microsoft try neverwhere if you dont want to try linux which is what the biased journalists where hinting.  It runs off a usb stick to try before you install it.

Anyhow i have said what i wanted to say.

*no criticism is allowed of microsoft by journalists.

hotplug weirdness

are-you-serious-wtf-meme-baby-faceRunning debian is fun but when a setting is needed and then not needed makes it infurating.

It seems the r8169 card (my blog) wanted a setting so that network manager would not control it. Ever since the setting was appended to interfaces the card has returned to being a model citizen.

I am either stupid or network manager is doing something it did not used to do since you dont screw with network settings when it works since 2012.

Hey it’s fixed for now – crosses fingers.

Lawn mower assembly (not boring)

Bananas was called out of the monkey house one monday morning to assemble a lawn mower which i had heard about from the zoo staff but had no idea i was going to help  ‘assemble’ it

This may have been a scientific test by professor and if so one he would have failed – he does not do instructions.

Having found the lost wheels and the instructions i used a bit of brute force and then got to the handle.  There was some faffing about with up/down and left/right but four screws later it began to look like a thing that worked like in the pictures found in the instructions.

So i think i passed, if you are stumped by garden tools assembly come visit the zoo and your box and the monkey house will probably be able to assemble it for you – bring a banana for incentive which professor did not provide.

Professor appears pleased so as long as i do not have to mow a lawn lets say both of us are content.

ooh err – or testing debian kde

midgetI like kde (my blog) rather than those midgets that come in sevens from Potterang (my blog) and his band of gnome sjw warriors and when the debian testing update for kde came down it was mainly broken even ffmpeg* is is a bit of a state in regard to the back end in kde so i ran lxde in the meantime.

This is not a rant, but when the keyboard does not work, applications work full sized only like the midgets like gnome then thank you and im off to something else.

It comes with the territory.  So one evening i removed all my xwindow and gubbins and reinstalled kde, where in testing \ stretch i found you dont need kdm as it runs non root and my music player changed from once more.

kde works but is radically different to old kde.  Still very compatible once you remove the old.  I like kde and debian.

*another change in progress.