Idiots in the war office (aka defence)

This week – [i am trying to be current for a change] was the 100th anniversary of Passchendaele.a village in Belgium.

If reporters and civil servants cannot understand the difference between wholesale slaughter and bravery then clearly there are still some very screwed up people who have yet to understand.  But i suppose as everybody got shot even for not being brave enough* to walk in front of machine gun (my blog) then this event of managed mass murder is a hard event to frame but bravery is not a word i would associate with it.

If i use this ‘logic’ then I guess machine guns and artillery weapons are also due for medals for bravery.

You may have seen this (my blog) if you have no idea of the thing.

I have been to the menin gate and it is a sobering site mostly on account of it’s size.

*unmentioned by the msm and the war office

Frankenstien flash

franknfurterI begin with a compile of nodejs which for some reason desired that it remove flash from debian with a compiler required that i thought i might need but probably did not – so my fault.

So i have no flash plugin which brings me to the perverse state of html video and audio – especially stuff in translation.

The video is not flash, but h264, the subtitles are in flash.  So i switch to chrome browser with pepper flash in 64 bit linux  which kind of works if your dont mind powering off your computer every thirty minutes since it froze about then.

Even the ad industry cannot figure out this shit, some adverts just played sound, no video some did both and the warning emitted by chrome browser amount to displeasure by the rendering engine.

mallThe best advert was for a shopping mall in africa.  I think it was in africa being london zoo residents it did look a bit too sunny.  It certainly made me think.  How 1980’s malls.

The induced level of fuckup involved here made me both think and laugh.  If this is what advertising does no wonder internet advertising is in the state its in.  As to the drm requirements by the copyright brigade – lol

I still cannot install flash since the upstream source is broken [404] so although i created this monster it is interesting to see the fallout.

I am amused and disgusted for if i can see the faults and flaws of the shit advertising attempts to do then clearly there clueless.

Perhaps if i learn to play the violin* frankenstein will behave.

However an attempt to load the same site in an older version of firefox resulted in a message to piss off, and the more newer version of firefox on a virgin linux pc resulted in no sound or video also so the violin trick probably won’t work

*i joke.

A surreal conversation about yeti’s and abominable snowmen

yetiBananas was told a funny story by our zoo professor about a man who was going to try and shoot a yeti in Alaska.  Really this happened.

This man hired by professor for some work in his house was in Bear Grylls  ‘mode’ and these creatures seem to have migrated from Tibet to America – although Tibet is not really tourist friendly (my blog) country for non Chinese citizenry.

If you ignore the ‘i hate my job’ vibe from the human then apparently a funny story started involving guns, rations and told to us later if winnie the pooh’s (my blog) helalump should also be located which appears to be a lot cheaper being you walk around a tree in the snow in england however that is unappealing.

Professor was not sure how to respond to this hunt the yeti although it does feel a lot like an episode of the mighty boosh (my blog)

I mean no wonder yeti’s are brilliant at not being seen when weirdos as described exist.  If you where a yeti or something unknown i would terrified of psychopathic humans like the one prof encountered.

Even more fun with capita services (stocks and shares)

Capita do shareholder services and as documented here its a bit iffy.  When i had to do something for real rather than ask how it is done to which i never got a actual response.

hellotmobileA change of address (not banks or stuff like that) was required as one ape was moving to whipsnade zoo in the country  so a lot things say there banana shares need updating. I ring  one day only to find the telephone line is not working – or piss off its the fire drill day and nothing will be achieved for five hours that day via a phone.

So I have to do it online which seems to be working if you do not mind poor ssl from capita, and essentially I am done in a hour with the right bits of paper.  Days later and a mountain of paper post gets delivered to the old address and the new one i am told it must have cost them several pounds in mail charges.

Other share registrars are better and keep the paper trail minimal.

Its rather ironic that the paper generated is huge from online, two letters per address is ok but eight all saying the same thing strikes me as too much.

Mind you who knows how many letters you get when you phone them.  Perhaps it best to not know that

Anyhow the mountain of post from capita seems to have eventually stopped which is a relief as the recycle bin was a bit too full.

Non exploding lorries – elf & saftey strike again

Professor is moving and told us apes a funny story.  It entails a removal firm who won’t transport a litre of lawnmower oil in a sealed container, paint or the domestic gas bbq cylinder (my blog)

Sisyphus is still a role model

Sisyphus is still a role model

He is moving about 1.4 kilometre.  It is perfectly fine for him to move such items.  We admire our risk taking prof.

Adam Aron and not knowing your business [which is amc cinemas]

risk averse

risk averse

News reaches the zoo via the bush telegraph that Adam Aron who is a pointy haired american executive of a cinema chain in a group in america that that where thinking about allowing mobile phones in.

The monkey house does not visit the cinema often but when i went i endured this (my blog) – it appears that Adam Aron might be a boss but has no clue about his services he offers in the real world.

Cough cough, let me switch on my ‘torch’ that goes beep and we can learn morse code while we are here* oh  yes i can cough along to the the tune as well as well

I say no more.

*signal lamp

mumsnet (shit parenting skills) v kids television

Censored picture (see link in comment)


Bananas was reminded of a time by some older apes when the trades union conference, liberal,labour and conservative parties would remove all childrens programmes from the bbc and the other lot with adverts.

Today kids tv runs all day and with the closure of bbc three (my blog) they now stretch to 14 hours.  That’s a long way from the two hours or so a weekday of stuff.

I mention this as the mumsnet brigade (my blog) can’t seem to turn off tv’s or computers and that’s not there fault because there ‘special’ being mumsnet types. It shall be interesting to see how it affects the zoo attendance.

Ivan Payne ex priest rapist living in Aderdare, South Wales

Ivan Payne ex priest rapist living in Aderdare, South Wales

Somehow i do not remember being asked if fourteen hours of kids tv on the bbc was a good idea although i cannot detect homosexual teletubie’s* for an example of my non existent skills in this area and so perhaps it is best that i was not asked. – Ivan Payne can though and i suppose if that is good for him then its good for mumsnet too.

Mind you some older apes here really liked the party political conferences back then with the singing, angry people and unstaged management which can be found on the parliament channel today but be the total opposite of what they once where whensongs like this are never now sang.

bloodThe people’s flag is deepest red, It shrouded oft our martyred dead, And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold, Their hearts’ blood dyed its ev’ry fold. Then

I assume turning off televisions without a remote controller back then was a bloody business.

*catholic’s can

Television industry versus Neflix – some thoughts.

The television industry apparently now perceives netflix * (my blog) as a threat but many of televisions ‘woes’ where made by them.

For a start before netflix there was vhs, and many television stations ate there young content either by showing it at odd times like breaking bad, and then cancelling the run on broadcast tv as a more modern example, i could give older examples..

If it did not get the numbers or tampons sold tough via the retards at a c neilson. So the question is why did it get a shit schedule point. I think tv screwed up breaking bad, not netflix.

Then multichannel tv came, with some piracy by the murdoch family a monopoly was created and tv output was graded so sport was deemed more expensive than drama. If you like me hate sport then television is for fat people watching sport

If your producing something and netflix pays for it when the television mafia will either show at an awful time and not give you good money for it for that reason then clearly why would not you sell it to netflix.  After all nobody cared in tv..

moranThen the tv people who just showed three episodes at one am in the morning it complain. What strange people they are.

*no japanese anime here either

Shodan’ed – Konica Minolta bizhub C224 owners are clueless and shodan does not care

£1800 plus vat and used by the retarded

The Konica Minolta bizhub C224 is £1800 plus vat and used by the retarded

The Konica Minolta bizhub C224 is some sort of ‘enterprise’* grade scanner office thing which appears to be a favourite on (my blog) for sending email viruses to us.  I just got it, but i bet you a banana skin** that it was found via our ‘friends’ at shodan

The zoo does not own/run such an crap piece of technology that relays viruses and may i direct you to probe the address for endless fun since the idiots there have no clue about securing it so you can all have a lot of fun at there expense.  If shodan found it then why not tell everybody else too.

Ironically a quick google search on the device  tells me that it has a fingerprint scanner option that can be fitted.  I thought it funny.

dixionsemployeeAs to shodan is it fixing this ? or are they just doing this because dont give a shit I know what i think.

Happy hacking.

*not star trek **collect from the zoo


my cloned mother (well i never knew that)


casual friday

If i can refer you to this (my blog) then i can happily inform you that my mother apparently has a clone according to human financial experts who some other monkeys are dealing with.

Its not my side of the tribe but it was humorous to discover that my mother has a copy somewhere wondering about.  The strange thing is i never noticed the clone until now/ Perhaps you too have a clone mother?

Families sigh mind you it was quite funny before the serous side set in.