a weird apple moment

black turtleneck crook Holmes

I do not like apple users (my blog) – no not the fruit.

One of the things i have thought about is streaming tv services and bad hardware support from Panasonic (my blog) and others when the streaming wars hit.  For some us a retard  smart tv has already happened.

So – I got professor a fire tv stick (my blog) and found it can load apple tv on non apple hardware.  That almost sounds a crime in apple group think*.  I mean its like being a Hillary Clinton deplorable.

I pinched myself as this still validates my view that newer streaming services will still  not be available to existing smart tv’s [reducing the market size – yes you could buy a new tv every month to fix but lets be reasonable] but the fact that a  non apple hardware thing loads it is progress.  As a linux user i  cannot even open an itunes account being the zoo has no apple or apple computers there loss not mine by the way and not a whine shows some progress..

This does not mean a subscription** to it will be ever bought for black turtleneck wearing snobs but it marks a change of thinking that will piss off apple snobs but is necessary for streaming tv to be a profitable enterprise for apple.

While not a reason to validate a purchase of the fire tv thing it seems that whoever wins the streaming wars will depend on the flexibility of existing hardware and not a closed eco system.

Such coherence from apple is kind of impressive – that is if it does work and does not go closed again.


Streaming tv is just that, as an apple computer/phone is just the same as a pc or andriod phone in principle.   Apple needs money not snobs which is something apple fans like lee527xx forget.

*it exists and it always the users fault that apple design faults mean its never apples fault (my blog) .** the zoo does not have microsoft or mac computers

apple content on non apple hardware now that itunes is ‘dead’

great bananas,

I bet you all used banana skin that it will still not work on linux ,windows or non apple smart tv.   Itunes works only on there platform last time i checked – when was the last time you saw a quick time film trailer that needed its own software to play ?.   Leave your answer in the comments

With apple now doing media opposed to telephones (my blog)  it will be interesting to see if non apple hardware like a samsung tv will be able to play the content.   Being that i dont control the software on a smart tv i do wonder how popular the stuff might be after all to get something on a tv it usually has a non apple app  store and somebody usually wants a cut..

Since the monkey house has no apple* products it will be interesting to see if  they force the walled garden on consumers if so they cannot expect the monkey house to consume there products.

If you could only buy netflix with a dedicated netflix television (my blog) i am sure i would not be  subscribing to netflix and you would have walls of screens just like in Fahrenheit 451  or you could read the book.

Perhaps as electronics do not matter as much to apple  they will have to fail first before they make money with media.   I do not do a lot of ecommerce but if i had to own an amazon device** to shop there i would also go elsewhere too.

This is not a compliant but should be taken as a warning that your entertainment conglomerate and silicon valley darling might not see the results you think they get.

*perhaps organic ones you eat ** you get the idea


An apple a day…

Not the fruit but it appears that the party is over  with the phone.   It appears that the total amount of fools  (my blog) prepared to spend $ 1200 on a phone has been fulfilled.

Indication of problems with apple things (you tube) is well known by me and as procurer of phones $50 is about our limit (my blog) so the monkey house is no sucker for apple products.

Interestingly enough it was not the bad design, but the repairing of bad phones that causes apple pain after all a $1200  dollar must really have a long life cycle..

Apple would  like to illegal-ise repair of anything so that $1200 is rented rather than owned..

Another reason stated was that the chinese who make the phone now make better phones because of it, it is not me who agreed to make it there but apple themselves and yes the monkey house is very happy with our non recognisable brand $50 phone made in china.

Sally will probably see a reduction in iphone addicts [see above links]  but even now i cannot see any reason to buy an apple product.  But peak retard has been achieved.


Sally is back and here to help you iphone 6 users

Sally (this blog) who is an expert mental health professional and a brainy ape here in the zoo is now able to help you if your an apple use.  If you have questions comment and i will show her them.

Meanwhile here are a few questions from zoo guests so far.

q: I dropped my phone and it does not now work

a: You might have disease/condition like parkinsons

q: Can i charge my iphone 6 in the microwave

a: I believe that works

q: i am overweight and cannot outrun a mugger  should i get an iphone

a: We need trendy muggers after all there is more to life than nike trainers (here) .



q: am i uncool for not having an apple product ?

a: Well ask a mugger, and remember that as long as it works as telephone nobody actually gives a shit.

q: it got bent, is my iphone trying to make me gay

a: probably, seek a catholic priest (here) to check your sexuality and be happy with the assault and result.

If your question has not been answered don’t be shy comment!.  Sally has helped many iphone users.

Sally offers more advice on apple mobile phones


mug me

Sally our ape of the mind (my blog) here in the zoo and as an expert on apple iphone mobile phone manners (my blog) was stopped by a shifty lokinghuman near the monkey house and asked a new question.  Sally asked me to make it known to a wider audience.

The question relates to iphone users and if they are fat.  With the new ‘fitness’ stuff she was asked is it ok to mug fat and over weight apple users are clearly there not using those things.

Sally laughed and thought it was a good way to try and get those bulky humans who have yet to get the message that fat people have no business with iphones.

Sally is happy to answer further questions if your iphone question not been answered by her.

Kickstarter failures and apple addicts


This man sucks apple cocks

Bananas got to see a kickstarter campaign in action. Yes I think kick starter is a great idea and it appears to fail in my example as a  failure in hitting its modest target for an apple compatible product by 50%.  Apple fanboys you should be ashamed and go see Sally (my blog).

The problem is with the subject area and the port which would not drive any further client growth which is not kickstarter’s fault as that there under ten hardcore fans been with the thing since the beginning some years ago, and everybody else is therefore not genuine – i have a client for the thing but will not patronize the product or the kickstarter.

Apple users seem to assume there’s an app for it by default being a small percentage of the phone market.

The hardcore of supporters totally abuse the majority of other users and i am sure that is why those ten hardcore supporters only hit 40%.  Its very niche.  However its an interesting look at things.

Amazon over Microsoft – and the desirability of the non arm processor tablet.

There are a number of tablets out there, so here is an order of perceived ‘desirability’ here from the monkey house.

Simply put i like Linux. Who ever the genius at arm decided that only microsoft can write code for arm devices must have lots of microsoft shares.

  1. linux
  2. andriod
  3. samsung – some crapware issues
  4. a B&N e-reader
  5. amazon
  6. apple
  7. microsoft – win8*

So you are probably wondering why i might buy an amazon thing over a mircosoft thing. Despite hating the amazon drm and lack of choice.  Well while not perfect amazon are motivated, apple got there first but the one shop (i-tunes and lack of access to it make that a bad choice and im not that stupid.

It is also interesting to not that the larger the press-able interface screen the higher the cost, which is a barrier for ms.  I note too that the software for it is heavy at 16gb or half of a 32gb device on sale, bad design as reports of broken tablets begins and non other os support by firms like hp also put a large downer on hp products.

Mind you when The Steve Balmers of this world do not like there partners and insist on doing there own hardware perhaps its no surprise that 3 month old laptops cant support there new product.

I see no point in ms following apple so it dangles on the bottom of the list.

An interesting issue with tablets is with the software updates.  Clearly buying a newer thing is best for the hardware makers, but if the update creates a bug rendering an ‘app’ the app gets the criticism not the update that broke the app..  Somehow the tablet and win8 has a few issues for all.

.* reminds us of lego toy bricks Erik Steinmann is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License

Sally offers Apple computer freaks help after a deity leaves.


Do you love apple products like Lee5279xx did ? Yes/No and don’t be ashamed to tell asl Sally an ape of the mind is offer all you Mac freaks a chance to face your grief that the deity of apple has left.  Some of you apple users will no doubt be grief stricken by this news, will you ever be cool again?.  In fact some zoo guests have been looking at iphones and saying its not working as well since saint jobs left.

So if your suicidal about your i-shit not being upgraded, or not expensive enough, or have extreme queue stupidity complex* then help from Sally is available.  Come to zoo and the monkey house and Sally will get you the help you need. You have a mental disease, it needs treating.

Sally ape of the mind who is hugging the tv celeb now helps apple users

Its been an interesting week, HP is becoming a microsoft based governmental software house as thats what the new boss knows about from his last job and steve jobs has gone to heaven.  If you do come please form an orderly queue and Sally will see you at some point, bring a sleeping bag.**

* thats where you pray outside the apple store ** see *

The audio public library – whitby and dracula.

mp3 players or variants are essentially out of bounds to library users, yes you can buy titles or if out of copyright maybe for free via there shop at there discretion while services like Lendle get terminated.

As i am no rabbid apple fan ape, i did not know that those apple things are also crippled, eg its hard to copy a file from say a computer to a sound thing  unless you use itunes which is shop.

The audio library is one way  library users can not have to use a shop. I run Linux and found that Linux not being a mac or windows user was troublesome to download eventually i get a file ‘Dracula_%7bUnabridged.%7d(2).mp3’ to download which hopefully will play being i am no mac or windows user.

Then a session timeout, (after all two login sessions one for download, and one for the library system. The file 370mb was finally ‘delivered’.

The file plays without drm or file management which was a relief after two attempts at getting the file. It has a running time of 18 hours.

I choose Dracula since i have never read it, and quite how Whitby became ‘important’ in goth circles seems an odd choice.  The text by Stoker is better than i thought it would be with atheism, mental diseases, and early blood transfusions along with the vampires and knowledge that estate agents have always been a retarded bunch.

It works well even today despite the new fangled ‘shorthand’ and the typewriter.  Its use of the then technology works well and puts part three together well, although a little flowery while it rehashes huge chunks clearly a nod to newspapers whom might have serialized it making the later bits mind numbing boring.

Another reason for it was the lack of choice of ‘new’ books in audio format in offering.

Since I don’t own a proper ‘mp3’ player and i am a fast reader 17 hours to get through dracula seems very long compared to the text.  However worth the effort andif you own a sound thing something that print books on a screen its worth asking your library service for.

5/5 bananas.