the ‘diet’

Professor when in the zoo told us apes a very funny story about his mate and the diet tv program she watched.  I will return to this topic in the future.

Nutrition science so fucked up that apparently burnt toast gets you cancer, chocolate in non fattening and by that logic smoking cigars must be good for you.

As a well known scientist myself i can recommend that cardboard boxes are VERY healthy if eaten raw – to avoid the toast problem do not warm them up.

One diet was a baby food diet which needs a lot of water apparently and other crank ‘methods’ which professor could not believe females would do.    Ironically to call professors mate fat is a bit of a lie but that’s the power of these professional psychological lairs at work.

are-you-serious-wtf-meme-baby-faceBut that’s female humans for you.

The mystery is that she fell asleep for the last twenty minutes so the results as to what kind of cardboard equals the best kind of gross weight loss are unknown both to Prof and her.



Professors new television and the black and white content.

No drm on the old tv sets

No drm on the old tv sets

Professor was ordered by his mrs to get a bigger television when he moved and  he tells me it is bigger and unused by his wife who kept demanding it although we understand it has better sound than elsa (my blog) since that was deemed ‘too small‘ (my blog) for several years.

As a panasonic it will stream channel 5 something none of the samsung apps seem unable to do due to a wrong flash version although prof has no idea how to download an new application to the old tv anyhow.

What was an amusing tale i will relay to you all was that the bbc had a ageing rock star (my blog) reminiscing about the past and all done in black and white on one evening and also the old content was panned and scanned which looked really shit on this new television.

Funny thing progress.

exploring kodi

No drm on the old tv sets

No drm on the old tv sets

kodi is not a new ape, but a streaming service an idiot could install, i was looking into doing something and came to kodi via xbmc.

I could not use kodi for recording due to a lack of hardware but got it streaming video to a tv (my blog), where i had a moment and found out that what i meant was different to the salesman’s answer (online tv is not recording)  i gathered being not there but via second hand relay of the conversation.

Kodi is an impressive platform and if a thing supports upnp and your tv is connected then its another option.

Not sure i will be a huge kodi user but it looks impressive and if you have seen the price of tv recorders (some with drm) then its an cheap option if you have pc’s (multiplatform) or pi’s doing stuff.


usb 3 with samsung tv’s

flatscreenThe monkey house can now record tv with a usb 3 stick it was under £10, when i last looked these where £40 for fast usb writing as usb2 did not pass the grade so i put it off.

The unit once verified (formatted again) allows the record feature via the guide and looks ok even if the gui is a bit hit and miss.

Recording is the same as watching so you cant watch something else, although the tv can be in standby mode to record, and the format is in CryptoBuddy .cip format so drm’ed and ancient and probably crackable.

An hours tv is 1000mb, and you get adverts too, cancelling a series may mean using the tv guide and going ahead several days to change.

Not particularly good imho.  I can always use the usb stick for something else and at £10 is not a complete waste of money.

The chav and sport in observation.

thissortofthingBananas was with the crack team of security guards early one Saturday evening when one of those sporty chav tv programs was on chav tv (my blog). Please note i just wondered in from the monkey house.

Anyhow i am sure you humans know that there is an element of sarcasm, the contestants who where probably less than wise to sign up and for series two for reasons best known to themselves and olympic type things that your average chav could not achieve because the height was  now over two metres and there being no tree to swing off.

LiliyaShobukhovadruggieI saw five minutes of this ‘fun’ and this eventually became a blog post before i wondered off to the pub with the rest of the monkey house.  With drugs (my blog) now a common component of professional sport (my blog) for those over twelve years old it seemed to me that if even chavs could not leap two metres then that proves that sport is not now something your average human could actually do without fresh blood or some drug that helps doing something.

If you had an empty mind it looked entertaining with idiots cheering other idiots – ambiance of a kind until the last thing should they have got that far.  These people were not fat but fit thus this post

So while your watching ‘non druggy’ athletes this summer on tv just remember this.

Not the place it used to be

guess who this person is

guess who this person is

Bananas was watching an specific hours television** which with adverts in and one of the people from Breaking bad (my blog) who was in an advert*.  I knew them but not from seeing it on television either on fta, or subscriber service as it was not broadcast.  Is televisions power to make stars reduced, after all with my poor identification of famous people who i dont know.

It was interesting as the power of television was been watered down by other media which i am sure more than just me have also seen hence why the person was employed.  It’s worth a brief think about.

* i could not buy the product on ethical grounds  ** not a regular couple of hours of watching stuff for no reason.

mumsnet (shit parenting skills) v kids television

Censored picture (see link in comment)


Bananas was reminded of a time by some older apes when the trades union conference, liberal,labour and conservative parties would remove all childrens programmes from the bbc and the other lot with adverts.

Today kids tv runs all day and with the closure of bbc three (my blog) they now stretch to 14 hours.  That’s a long way from the two hours or so a weekday of stuff.

I mention this as the mumsnet brigade (my blog) can’t seem to turn off tv’s or computers and that’s not there fault because there ‘special’ being mumsnet types. It shall be interesting to see how it affects the zoo attendance.

Ivan Payne ex priest rapist living in Aderdare, South Wales

Ivan Payne ex priest rapist living in Aderdare, South Wales

Somehow i do not remember being asked if fourteen hours of kids tv on the bbc was a good idea although i cannot detect homosexual teletubie’s* for an example of my non existent skills in this area and so perhaps it is best that i was not asked. – Ivan Payne can though and i suppose if that is good for him then its good for mumsnet too.

Mind you some older apes here really liked the party political conferences back then with the singing, angry people and unstaged management which can be found on the parliament channel today but be the total opposite of what they once where whensongs like this are never now sang.

bloodThe people’s flag is deepest red, It shrouded oft our martyred dead, And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold, Their hearts’ blood dyed its ev’ry fold. Then

I assume turning off televisions without a remote controller back then was a bloody business.

*catholic’s can

Television industry versus Neflix – some thoughts.

The television industry apparently now perceives netflix * (my blog) as a threat but many of televisions ‘woes’ where made by them.

For a start before netflix there was vhs, and many television stations ate there young content either by showing it at odd times like breaking bad, and then cancelling the run on broadcast tv as a more modern example, i could give older examples..

If it did not get the numbers or tampons sold tough via the retards at a c neilson. So the question is why did it get a shit schedule point. I think tv screwed up breaking bad, not netflix.

Then multichannel tv came, with some piracy by the murdoch family a monopoly was created and tv output was graded so sport was deemed more expensive than drama. If you like me hate sport then television is for fat people watching sport

If your producing something and netflix pays for it when the television mafia will either show at an awful time and not give you good money for it for that reason then clearly why would not you sell it to netflix.  After all nobody cared in tv..

moranThen the tv people who just showed three episodes at one am in the morning it complain. What strange people they are.

*no japanese anime here either

A new personality for elsa

frozenIs the television (my blog) not that other thing which now as a new personality in its software.  A few things make a bit more sense with tabs but i still have no idea how one installs ‘apps’ not that it is a burning desire.

Anyhow some new menu items did provide actual on demand new channels and some pay per content items that i guess before you would have had to have been to a cinema (my blog) to see.

Overall its nice to see that rupert murdoch’s plans for world domination (my blog) are failing with his network and his pirates* mean there is a choice.

Its probably a good thing.

* read the book and pirate here is somebody paid by the Murdoch empire, not somebody doing it for some other reasons.

Goodbye to bbc three

being human

being human

The Mighty Boosh, Being Human (my blog), Torchwood (my blog) might not be things you think good but Being Human was remade for america and i knew that naked bloke doing farm work in cornwall before you did being that you only watch costume dramas.

Torchwood had its us and downs but it was not a soap opera.

The mighty boosh was brilliant perhaps a bit hard for stupid people to understand.  There are others (my blog) i can mention.

Private Chris Gray

Private Chris Gray

In factual our war (my blog) and this (my blog) where noteworthy and honest which is not something you can say of bbc news in Afghanistan at the time..

Not everything on bbc three was good but at least it took risks rather than the usual safe output of soap operas and classical drama that the bbc gets away with and you lot think best despite it adding up to six hours of tv for that thing not defined as average and worthy of an license fee despite there being 8760 hours in a year.

Maybe online will be better for bbc three or whatever it becomes since mainstream bbc is rather chav.

I think while you think its rubbish you will be wrong and that will affect mainstream bbc programming being that new talent will be ignored for that soap actor between seasons of some crap soap opera.

Anyhow that’s not really my problem – but yours.